9185. 'If the father utterly refuses to give her to him' means if interior good does not allow the joining together. This is clear from the meaning of 'refusing' as not allowing; from the meaning of 'giving her to him' - to be his wife - as a rightful joining together, dealt with immediately above in 9184; and from the meaning of 'father' as good, dealt with in 3703, 3704, 5581, 5902, 6050, 7499, 8328, 8897. Interior good is meant because from interior good as the father and interior truth as the mother exterior truths and forms of good are conceived and born, which the Word therefore calls sons and daughters.

Flesh has several meanings just in its most obvious form. It can mean all living creatures as when the Lord talks about the flood "destroying all flesh"(Genesis 7:21), or it can mean all of mankind (Genesis 6:3), or it can mean something soft and yielding such as the heart of flesh to replace the stony heart (Ezekiel 11:19) But spiritually it means the loves that dwell in the will of a person, and seem to belong to that person, to be that person. This person may be one who has not started to regenerate (or never will), or one who is in the middle of the process, or one who is near the end. In the highest sense flesh means the loves that are in the Lord's will, which are divine. This meaning is clear in the Lord's words in the gospel of John (John 6:53-56).