I was talking recently with someone who was looking forward to becoming a father. He asked me, "Is it hard to learn how to be a good father? How did you deal with that change in your life?"

"One of the nice things about becoming a father," I said, "is that it happened one step at a time. First we got engaged, and then some time later we got married. During that time, talking about parenting helped prepare me mentally. A few months after our marriage, my wife became pregnant, and then we still had nine months before our child was actually born."

"Of course, having a new baby was a big change, but still there were many parenting tasks that came later. For example, discipline wasn't an issue for the first year, and it was two years before we had to help our son learn to get along with his new baby sister. Being a good father all at once would be impossible, but the Lord gives us a chance to learn slowly."

Most changes in our lives are gradual. An inch of growth may take a child half a year. It can take several years to learn to speak a new language or play a musical instrument. Two people can be married in a day, but the actual marriage of minds takes decades to accomplish.

Changes in our spiritual life are also gradual. They take place one step at a time, and spiritual growth will be easier if we know that it does not take place in a moment. It is an ongoing process. Jesus said,

"Unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3)

Many passages in the Bible indicate that being born again spiritually will be just as much a step by step process as physical conception, gestation, birth, growth, and development. For example, Peter describes it in seven distinct steps:

"Add to your faith, virtue, and to virtue, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, and to self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness, to godliness, brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness, love." Only by completing this process can we be sure to enter the Kingdom of God. (2 Peter 1:5)

One reason why being born again must be a gradual process is that it involves a complete change of character. Paul describes it this way:

"If any one be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:5)

Rebirth involves new knowledge, new habits, new activities, new loves, and new awareness of the Lord.

New Knowledge

Rebirth does not take place through a blind leap of faith, but through gradual education, study and enlightenment. Jesus said,

"If you continue in My Word, ...the truth shall make you free." (John 15:3)

Truth is the tool of change, the means to a new life. Jesus said,

"Now you are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you." (John 15:3)

Instead of accepting dogmas without question we must make sense of the truth in order to be reborn. Being "childlike" does not mean being childish in our beliefs.

"In malice be children, but in understanding be adults." (1 Corinthians 14:20)

In one of His stories, Jesus describes a good person as one "who hears the Word, and understands it, and also bears fruit." (Matthew 12:23)

Most important of all is the understanding of God. If God's nature is a mystery to us, we can hardly say that we are born again, or that we are His sons. (Compare John 15:15.)

Knowing God goes hand in hand with being born from Him. (1 John 4:7)

"The pure in heart shall see God." (Matthew 5:8)

When we are born again, God "shines in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the Glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." (2 Corinthians 4:6)

New Habits

Anyone who is in the habit of doing or thinking evil things is living the "old" life, and is incapable of the genuine goodness of the person who has overcome them.

"Can the leopard change its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil." (Jeremiah 13:23)

"He who commits sin is the servant of sin." (John 8:34)

Receiving the new life requires fighting against the old habits.

"Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die? ...Turn and live!" (Ezekiel 18:21, 31-32.)

"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean, put away the evil of your doing from My eyes! Cease to do evil, learn to do good." (Isaiah 1:16.)

This kind of repentance cannot take place merely by praying for forgiveness. It requires a struggle, an ongoing battle to overcome the old ways of life. Paul called this a struggle between the "flesh" and the "spirit." (Galatians 4:29, Romans 8:7.)

It is a battle that requires our greatest effort -- "all your heart and all your soul and all your might." (Deuteronomy 6:4)

Eventually, through constant effort, God gives us such power over our habits that we no longer would think of doing something evil. When this time finally comes, we can be called "born again."

"Whoever is born of God does not commit sin.... He cannot sin, because he is born of God." (1 John 3:9)

"Whatever is born of God overcomes the world.... We know that whoever is born of God does not sin, but he who is born of God keeps himself and the wicked one does not touch him." (1 John 5:4, 18)

New Activities

Along with new habits come new activities. A person who neglects to be useful cannot be born again, and cannot go to heaven. Jesus indicated that some Christians would not be saved because they lacked good works.

"Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, ' shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in the heavens." (Matthew 7:21)

In one of His parables, Jesus told of some people who would go into everlasting punishment, not because they had lacked faith, but because they had failed to help people who were in need. (Matthew 25:41-46)

After death, the Lord "renders unto everyone according to his deeds." (Matthew 16:27)

A person who is born again is concerned for others, and orients his life around the work he can do to help others.

"Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead... A person is justified by works, and not by faith alone." (James 2:17, 24)

To be born again, you must "bring forth fruits worthy of repentance." (Luke 3:8) Service and usefulness are marks of the new life.

New Loves

Even more than faith and more than works, the power that causes a person to be born again is love. Peter tells us that we are reborn by means of loving and for the purpose of loving others.

"Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, being born again...by the word of God." (1 Peter 1:22, 23)

John also makes it very clear that only those who love others can receive the new life:

"We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death." (1 John 3:14)

"Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love, does not know God, for God is love." (1 John 4:7-8)

New Awareness of the Lord

We must take it upon ourselves to have faith, to fight the evil impulses within ourselves, to serve others, and to love others if we wish to be born again. Yet in all these things we need also to realize that it is the Lord who is working within us.

"You have also done all our works in us." (Isaiah 26:12)

"There are many forms of work, but all of them, in all people, are the work of the same God." (1 Corinthians 12:6)

In the process of rebirth we come to realize that it is the Lord working within us that enables us to work, believe, struggle, and love. These abilities are His merciful gift. He says,

"I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit within you...and cause you to walk in my statutes." (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

Patience

In order to be reborn we must renew our knowledge, habits, actions, loves and relationship with the Lord. All this takes time, even a lifetime. Just as childbirth and growth require patience and endurance, so does being born again.

"In your patience you will possess your souls." (Luke 21:19)

"Whoever endures to the end shall be saved." (Matthew 10:22)

God will give eternal life to those who seek it "by patient continuance in doing good." (Romans 2:7)

We cannot expect to be born again in a single moment. Again and again, the Bible advises steadfastness and endurance if we wish to gain the promise of heaven.

"It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." (Lamentations 3:26, 27)

For although it takes time, if we do our part, the Lord will certainly make it happen.

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." (Psalms 37:5, 7)

2. That religion is a way of life, and that its life is the doing of good, is something everyone sees who reads the Word and on reading it acknowledges it.

We find in the Word the following declarations:

Whoever...breaks...the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. ...I say to you, ...unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:19-20)

Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them. (Matthew 7:19-20)

Not everyone who says to Me, “Lord, Lord, ” shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 7:21)

Many will say to Me in that day, “Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name..., and in Your name done many wonders?” But then I will declare to them, “I do not know you; depart from Me, you workers of iniquity.” (Matthew 7:22-23)

...everyone who hears these words of Mine, and does them, I will liken to a prudent man who built his house upon the rock.... But everyone who hears these words of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand. (Matthew 7:24, 26)

(Jesus said:) “...a sower went out to sow. ...some seed fell on the hard road; ...some...on stony places...; some...among thorns...; and some...on good ground....

“He who received seed on the good ground, that is, who hears the Word and pays attention, (is) someone who therefore bears and produces fruit: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.”

(When Jesus said this, He cried out, saying, ) “He who has ears to hear, let him hear!” (Matthew 13:3-9, 23, 43)

[2] ...the Son of man will come in the glory of His Father..., and then He will reward each according to his works. (Matthew 16:27)

...the kingdom of God will be taken from you and given to a nation producing the fruits of it. (Matthew 21:43)

When the Son of Man comes in His glory..., then He will sit on the throne of His glory.... (And He) will say to (the sheep) on His right hand, “Come, you blessed...(and) inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.”

Then the righteous will answer..., saying, “...when did we see You (so)...?

(But) the King will answer and say..., “Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of...My brethren, you did it to Me.”

(And the King will say the like to the goats on the left hand; and because they did not do these things He will say, ) “Go ye from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire, prepared for the devil and his messengers. (Matthew 25:31-46)

[3] ...produce fruits worthy of repentance.... Even now the ax is laid to the root of the trees. Therefore every tree which does not produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. (Luke 3:8-9)

(Jesus said, ) “Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord, ’ and do not do the things which I say? Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, ...is like a man who built a house (and) laid the foundation on rock.... But he who hears and does not do is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation....” (Luke 6:46-49)

(Jesus said, ) “My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.” (Luke 8:21)

(Then) you will begin to stand...and knock at the door, saying, “Lord, Lord, open for us.” (But) He will answer and say to you, “I do not know you, where you are from.... Depart from Me, all you workers of iniquity.” (Luke 13:25-27)

[4] This is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, (but) men loved darkness rather than the light, because their deeds were evil. ...everyone who does evil hates the light..., lest his deeds be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, (since) they have been done in God. (John 3:19-21)

...and they shall come forth — those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, but those who have done evil, to the resurrection of judgment. (John 5:29)

We know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, He hears him. (John 9:31)

If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. (John 13:17)

If you love Me, keep My commandments.... He who has My commandments and does them, it is he who loves Me..., and I will love him and manifest Myself to him..., and (I) will come to him and make (My) abode with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words. (John 14:15, 21-24)

(Jesus said, ) I am the...vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; but every branch that produces fruit He prunes, that it may produce more fruit. (John 15:1-2)

In this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and become My disciples. (John 15:8)

You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.... ...I chose you...that you should...bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.... (John 15:14, 16)

[5] (The Lord said to John, ) “ To the angel of the church of Ephesus write, ‘...I know your works.... ...I have this against you, that you have left your first charity. ...repent and do the first works, or else...I will...remove your lampstand from its place....’ ” (Revelation 2:1-2, 4-5)

“...to the angel of the church of the people of Smyrna write, ‘...I know your works...’ ” (Revelation 2:8-9)

“...to the angel of the church in Pergamum write, ‘...I know your works.... Repent....’ ” (Revelation 2:12-13, 16)

“...to the angel of the church in Thyatira write, ‘...I know your works and charity..., and (your) last (works) more than the first.’ ” (Revelation 2:18-19)

“...to the angel of the church in Sardis write, ‘...I know your works, that you have a name that you are alive, when you are dead. ...I have not found your works perfect before God.... ...repent.’ ” (Revelation 3:1-3)

“...to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write, ‘...I know your works.’ ” (Revelation 3:7-8)

“...to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘...I know your works.... ...repent....’ ” (Revelation 3:14-15, 19)

...I heard a voice from heaven saying..., “Write: ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.’ ” ...says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors; their works follow them.” (Revelation 14:13)

...a book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged...in accordance with the things which were written in their books..., all according to their works. (Revelation 20:12-13)

Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work. (Revelation 22:12)

[6] So, too, in the Old Testament:

...repay them according to their work and according to the doing of their hands. (Jeremiah 25:14)

(Jehovah, whose) eyes are open to all the ways of the sons of men, to give everyone according to his ways and according to the fruit of his works. (Jeremiah 32:19)

I will punish him according to his ways, and repay him his works. (Hosea 4:9)

...Jehovah... according to our ways, according to our deeds, has dealt with us. (Zechariah 1:6) And in many other places [we are told] that the people were to obey the statutes, commandments and laws. As for example:

You shall keep My statutes and My judgments, which if a man does them, he shall live through them. (Leviticus 18:5)

You shall observe all My statutes and... My judgments, in order to obey them. (Leviticus 19:37, cf. 20:8, 22:31) The blessings [enumerated] if they obeyed the commandments, and the curses if they did not (Leviticus 26:4-46).

The children of Israel were commanded “to make a fringe on the edges of their garments,” so as to “remember all the commandments of Jehovah and obey them” (Numbers 15:38-39).

And so on in a thousand other places.

[7] That works are what make a person a person of the church, and that he is saved in accordance with them, is something the Lord also taught in His parables, many of which involve the idea that people who do good are accepted, and that those who do evil are rejected. See, for example, the parable of the husbandmen in the vineyard in Matthew 21:33-44; of the fig tree that did not produce fruit in Luke 13:6-9; of the talents and minas which were to be used in trade in Matthew 25:14-30 and Luke 19:13-25; of the Samaritan who bound up the wounds of the man injured by thieves in Luke 10:30-37; of the rich man and Lazarus in Luke 16:19-31; and of the ten virgins in Matthew 25:1-12.