The relationship between men and women is deep and nuanced, and one entire book of the Writings -- Conjugial Love -- is devoted to the subject. So we can hardly offer a full explanation here. In a very general sense, though, the Writings say that men are creatures of intellect, driven by the love of growing wise; women, meanwhile are creations of affection, driven by the love of wisdom and the good that wisdom can do. They are formed this way to reflect the Lord's Divine Love and Divine Wisdom, and so that they can form marriages that reflect the unity of Divine Love and Divine Wisdom. Marking differences between men and women can be a touchy thing, but realistically it's easy to see that men tend to love acquiring knowledge whether it has any practical application or not. Many of them can spout out sports statistics or hold court on the workings of the internal combustion engine, even though it is knowledge they are not likely to ever use. They find such knowledge interesting for its own sake. It follows, then, that when the Bible speaks of men, the men represent facts, ideas, knowledge, truth, intellect and wisdom -- or in the negative sense falsity, twisted logic, and reasoning that is devoid of concern for others.

369. Both man and woman are endowed with intellect and volition, but for men intellect tends to take the lead, while for women it is volition that does so; and people are characterized by what is in control. There is no controlling, though, in marriages in the heavens. The volition of the wife actually belongs to the husband and the intellect of the husband belongs to the wife. This is because each wants to intend and think like the other, mutually, that is, and reciprocally. This is how the two are united into one.

This is a truly effective union. The intent of the wife actually enters into the thinking of the husband, and the thinking of the husband enters into the intent of the wife, especially when they look each other in the face, since as already noted there is a sharing of thoughts and affections in the heavens. There is all the more sharing between a wife and a husband because they love each other.

We may gather from this what the union of minds is like that makes a marriage and that gives birth to marriage love in the heavens - it is that each wants his or her blessings to belong to the other, and that this is mutual.