There are two aspects to the life of each person. We might call them "heart" and "mind," a part of us that wants and feels and a part of us that thinks and knows. The Writings usually refer to these as the "will" and the "understanding." They are reflections, and receptacles, of the Lord's infinite love and infinite wisdom. Of the two, the heart or will is ultimately the most important. Who we actually are is determined by what we love, and the things in our heart ultimately determine our place in heaven (or hell). But the will is beyond our control; we can't force ourselves to want something good or to not want something bad; we can control our actions, but not our feelings. Because of this power, the Lord works subtly and carefully in our hearts, in ways we can't sense. Most of the work and interaction goes on in our minds through the working of what the Writings call "Divine Truth," which is essentially the Lord's entire essence expressed in a form that is compatible with our minds. When the Bible talks about the Lord's "spirit," it represents this operation of Divine Truth in our minds, the way he reaches out and embraces us, and invites us to embrace him back. And when the Bible talks about people having "spirit," it is talking about our minds when we embrace Divine Truth.

34. (19) Conjugial love depends upon the wife's love, and such too is the husband's love reciprocally; the wife's love does not depend on her husband's love. The reason is that just as the will acts on the understanding, good acts on truth; that is why it is said that a man ought to cleave to his wife. The reverse is true of those who are not in conjugial love.