The Betrothal

A Christmas Doctrinal Class by Rev. Andrew M.T. Dibb

Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary. (Luke 1:26-27)

So begins the wonderful story of the Lord's conception in the Gospel of Luke. The scene is familiar to each of us: Mary is at home, when suddenly she sees the angel Gabriel and hears his words of great joy:

"Rejoice, highly favoured one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!" (Luke 1:28)

An angel is a messenger of the Lord. In the Word angels came to bring wisdom and comfort, hope and the good news, the “euangellion” or Gospel, to those to whom the Lord wanted His presence revealed. This Gospel is the teaching that the Lord Jesus Christ was born into this world, that He made it possible for all people to be saved and brought into His kingdom. Thus the angel Gabriel came in excitement to Mary to inform her that she was the Lord’s choice as His natural mother.

When Mary saw the angel Gabriel, she didn't know that he was the human form of an entire society of angels. Nor did she know that his greatest love is to tell people about the Lord, especially that He would be born into the world to save the human race from spiritual bondage.

The scene of the angel Gabriel announcing to Mary that she would conceive and bear a son, and call His name Jesus, is one of the most poignant in the Word. Mary was a simple person, living in Galilee far away from the centre of worship at Jerusalem. She was neither highly educated nor socially well connected, except that she descended from Israel’s greatest king, David. There is a beautiful innocence in Mary’s simplicity. The last thing she expected in life was to see an angel. The image we have of Mary is of a demure young maiden, a virgin in every sense, for, as she said to the angel, 'I do not know a man'. Her state of life was that of a young woman about to embark on her married life to Joseph, but still living at home with her parents. The marriage had not yet been celebrated.

It is central to the Christmas story that Mary was betrothed to Joseph when the angel Gabriel appeared to her. This fact is mentioned in the lesson we read in the Gospel of Luke, where it is plainly stated that she was a 'virgin betrothed'. In Matthew we are again told that Mary was 'betrothed to Joseph'. This means that she had been promised as a wife to Joseph. In our culture, we would say that they were engaged to be married.

There are several good reasons why Mary should have been in this state when she conceived the Lord:

- In the Jewish Church of that time betrothal was considered marriage, although the marriage had not yet been consummated. This meant that the people around her considered Mary a woman, and it also meant that her mind was focusing on the upcoming marriage and future life as a wife and a mother.

- She was expected, during this period of betrothal, to remain in a state of order. She was not free to come into romantic contact with any other man, and she certainly was not permitted to have sexual intercourse with any man, including her husband to be.

The angel appeared to her in this state precisely for that reason - the child who was to be conceived needed to be conceived in a state of virginity, and there could be no question down the ages that Jesus was the son of an ordinary man. This is why Mary protested that she could not conceive because she 'had not known a man'.

There is a very good reason for this: the doctrines tell us that the human soul is transmitted as the living principle of the masculine seed. That soul, or internal human is passed from father to child, is an image of the father's own soul - although the life in it is from the Divine Itself. When a child is conceived, that human soul can receive life from the Lord, and, using the life in it, begins to draw from the mother the various substances needed to form the human body. When the child is born, he or she becomes an individual, drawing life from the Lord, and potential spiritual things from both mother and father, and the body from the mother. Thus there is a complete mixing of parents in the birth of a child.

When the angel Gabriel came to Mary, he announced the birth of the Lord. It was to be a miracle of all miracles, for according to prophecy a virgin would conceive and bear a son. He was conceived of the Holy Spirit. His soul was Divine, given to Him by the Father, or, put another way, the soul within Jesus was not limited and finite as our souls are, but infinite and eternal, and capable of overcoming the powers of hell and saving the human race.

Here's an excerpt from Swedenborg's work, Arcana Coelestia 1999: "But the Lord's Internal was Jehovah Himself, since He was conceived from Jehovah, who cannot be divided or become the relative of another, like a son who has been conceived from a human father. For unlike the human, the Divine is not capable of being divided but is and remains one and the same. To this Internal the Lord united the Human Essence. Moreover because the Lord's Internal was Jehovah it was not, like man's internal, a recipient form of life, but life itself. Through that union His Human Essence as well became life itself. Hence the Lord's frequent declaration that He is Life, as in John,

As the Father has Life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have Life in Himself. John 5:26."

Yet even a soul such as that, if it is to live and walk amongst the people of this earth, must be clothed in a body. The Lord always operates within the boundaries of the order of creation - and order dictates that a soul must be clothed with a material body.

At first the father’s soul is clothed with human elements, for it begins as a reproduction of the father’s own soul, then,

"during its descent, … the soul is enveloped by elements of a type that have to do with the father's natural love. This is the source from which hereditary evil springs." (Conjugial Love 245)

And so the Lord needed an orderly environment in which to be born. Mary was chosen as His mother because, according to the Lord's all-seeing wisdom, He saw that she would be willing to carry this child, and she would be able to nurture Him in such a way that He would grow up prepared for the great work ahead of Him.

Yet Mary had to be in a state of order herself. In ancient Israel, to bear a child meant that she had to be married, and yet to preserve the honesty of the conception and ensure that the soul was Divine, not human, she had to be in the state before actual physical union with Joseph had taken place - otherwise the Lord could have been Joseph's son. So she had to be betrothed, and no motive should be found as a basis for accusations against the Virgin Birth.

It was partly for this reason that when Joseph heard that she was carrying a child he decided to put her away. Effectively this meant he planned to divorce her. According to the law of Moses, a betrothed woman carrying a child had broken the rules. Ideally speaking, the man responsible should be put to death. Joseph had no idea who the man was, but assumed that there was one. He was, however, a kind man, and so decided not 'to make her a public example', but to put her away privately.

It was at this juncture that the angel Gabriel came to Joseph in a dream, and soothed his fears. 'The child she is carrying,' the angel said, 'is conceived by the Holy Spirit.' Now Joseph understood, and the state of betrothal could continue, and order could be maintained so that the Lord could be born into this world with the full appearance of two loving parents, bound together in marriage after an orderly betrothal.

We now need to expand our vision of the Lord's life in this world. The conception of the Lord was but the first step in his development. He had to be born and grow up. His mind and body had to develop as does our own. The home of Mary and Joseph was needed to provide a stable and orderly environment for Him where He could live and grow, undergoing not only physical and mental development, but also the very processes by which His Divine soul could become present within His natural mind.

In picking these two people to be his 'parents' in the natural world, the Lord was able to provide for the future as well. The Word does not tell us anything about the marriage relationship between Joseph and Mary. We know that Joseph was obedient to the angel when he was told to take Mary and the infant Lord down to Egypt to escape Herod's cruelty. We know that each year they travelled to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. We know that had other children, whom likewise they loved and nurtured. But that is about all we know.

The book, Conjugial Love, by Emanuel Swedenborg, however, gives us some insights into the kind of orderly relationship they had. They begin in the concept of Betrothal, for betrothal is introductory to marriage. The kinds of preparation people make for their marriages determine a great deal the course their marriage will follow. The fact that Mary in her betrothed state had 'not known a man' indicates that she took the responsibilities of that state serious. Similarly, the fact that Joseph immediately knew that he was not the father of the child Mary carried indicates a similar seriousness about the state of betrothal. They were both innocent of any wrongdoing, and were obviously committed to building a life together based on the firm foundation of proper preparation.

Their betrothal prepared them for their future life together as man and wife, and, thus as the Lord's parents on earth. Betrothal is a preparation for marriage. It is a time when the minds and spirits of the two partners begin to grow together.

The teachings of the New Church tell us that true marriage, or conjugial love as it is often called, is a meeting and union of two minds. A true marriage is one in which the couple recognises the essential differences between masculinity and femininity, and rejoices in those differences without any attempt to dominate the other. In order for a couple to come into a true appreciation of each other, they need to put aside physical love to foster and nurture spiritual love. This is why Mary and Joseph lived apart during this stage of their relationship, and why they refrained from sexual activity, for in that way they made it possible for their minds to soar, and be united at the highest levels of idealism.

The book Conjugial Love tells us that in this state the mind of each partner is opened by his or her spiritual love. They are able to reach higher levels of love and commitment to each other as they foster the growth of mutual understanding unencumbered by physical things. The passage describing this development, then, goes on to describe how when a couple marry their love descends from the mind to the body. It is worth reflecting on the statement that

"It needs to be known that the quality of conjugial love as it comes down is determined by the height to which it climbs. If it reaches the heights it comes down chaste, but if it does not, it comes down as unchaste." (Conjugial Love 302).

With Mary and Joseph we can but only assume that their love reached its heights during their betrothal, and that their marriage was one of purity and chastity. Chastity in this sense means a marriage love between two people that has been cleansed of all impurities. In such a state the husband and wife enjoy the full pleasures of marriage, beginning on the spiritual level with a full meeting of minds, and descends into the body, where their love is consummated.

A marriage of this kind provides the most wonderful environment, for the love between the husband and wife provides a state of tranquillity and peace in which children can be reared. This is the kind of environment the Lord chose to be born into. He knew that during his life in this world He would have to face the most terrible of temptations. He knew that He would have to battle against hell continuously, and face the disbelief of the people around Him. His first thirty-three years were a preparation for this work lying before Him. And so He chose to be born to a couple who were in a state of order, who because of that order, were willing to receive Him into their lives, to nurture Him as if He was their own.

There is a message in this for us. Each one of us wants the Lord to be born into our own lives, and He is willing to come to us. "Behold,' He says, 'I stand at the door and knock'. Yet He can only enter into us to the degree that we bring our lives into order. Mary and Joseph clung to their betrothal - they committed themselves and stood fast. That is what the Lord wants us to do: to commit ourselves to Him, to live according to His Word in every detail of our lives, especially in our relationships with others, in our preparation for marriage, and in our marriages themselves. As we do, then He enters into us, establishes His presence there, and lifts us up to heaven.

AMEN

Lessons:

Deuteronomy 22:25-29

Isaiah 7:14-16

Luke 1:26-38

Conjugial Love 302

349. And the four and twenty elders fell down and worshiped Him that liveth unto the ages of the ages, signifies the humiliation and acknowledgment from the heart of all who are in truths from good, that the Lord alone lives, and that from Him alone is eternal life. This is evident from the signification of "four and twenty elders," as being all who are in truths from good (of which above, n. 270; from the signification of falling down and worshiping, as being humiliation and acknowledgment from the heart that every good and truth that has life in itself is from the Lord (of which see above, n. 290-291); and from the signification of "Him that liveth," as being, when said of the Lord, that He alone lives, and that from Him is eternal life (of which also above, n. 82, 84, 186, 289, 291).

[2] Since it is at this day believed in the world that the life that each one has was given and implanted, and is thus one's own, and does not flow in continuously, I desire to say something respecting it. The opinion that life is in man in such a way as to be his own is merely an appearance that springs from the perpetual presence of the Lord, and from His Divine love, in that He wills to be conjoined to man, to be in him, and to impart to him His life, for such is the Divine love; and because this is perpetual and continuous man supposes that life is in him as his own; yet it is known that there is not a good or a truth in man, but that they come from above, thus that they flow in. It is the same with love and faith; for everything of man's love is from good, and everything of his faith is from truth; for what a man loves is good to him, and what he believes is truth to him. This makes clear in the first place that no good and no truth, so neither love nor faith, is in man, but that they flow in from the Lord. Life itself is in good and truth, and nowhere else. The receptacle of the good of love with man is the will, and the receptacle of the truth of faith with him is the understanding; and to will good does not belong to man, nor to believe truth. These are the two faculties in which is the whole life of man; outside of these there is no life. This also makes clear that the life of these faculties, and accordingly the life of the whole man, is not in man but flows in. It is also by influx that evil and falsity, or the will and love of evil and the understanding and faith of falsity, are with man; but this influx is from hell. For man is kept in the freedom of choosing, that is, of receiving good and truth from the Lord or of receiving evil and falsity from hell, and man is kept in this for the sake of reformation, for he is kept between heaven and hell, and thence in spiritual equilibrium, which is freedom. Neither is this freedom itself in the man, but it is together with the life that flows in. (On Man's Freedom and its origin, see in the work on Heaven and Hell 293, 537, 540-541, 546, 589-596, 597-603; and in The Doctrine of the New Jerusalem 141-147.)

[3] Those also who are in hell live by the Influx of Life from the Lord, for good and truth in like manner flow into them; but the good they turn into evil, and the truth into falsity; and this takes place because they have inverted their interior recipient forms by a life of evil, and all influx is varied according to the forms. It is the same as when man's thought and will act upon members distorted from birth, or upon injured organs of sensation; and as when the light of heaven flows into objects that vary in their colors, and as when the heat of heaven flows into the same, which vary in their odors according to their interior receptive forms. But it should be known that the life itself is not changed and varied, but the life produces an appearance of the recipient form by which and from which the life is transmitted; much as by the same light different persons appear in a mirror each such as he is.

[4] Moreover, all the senses of man, namely, sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, are none of them in man, but are excited and produced from influx; in man there are only the organic recipient forms, in these there is no sense until what is adapted thereto from without flows in. The like is true of the internal organs of sensation which belong to thought and affection and receive influx from the spiritual world, as of the external organs of sensation which receive influx from the natural world. That there is one only fountain of life, and that all life is therefrom and flows in continually, is well known in heaven, and is never called in question by any angel in the higher heavens, for these perceive the influx itself. That all lives are streams, as it were, from the only and perennial fountain of life, has been testified to me also from much experience, and seen in the spiritual world with those who believed that they lived from themselves, and were not willing to believe that they lived from the Lord. When influx into the thought was in some part withheld from these, they lay as if deprived of life, but as soon as the influx reached them, they as it were revived from death; and then the same confessed that the life in them is not theirs, but continually flows into them, and that men, spirits, and angels are only forms receptive of life.

[5] That this is so the wise there conclude from this: that nothing can exist and subsist from itself but only from what is prior to itself, so neither can what is prior exist and subsist from itself but only in successive order from a First; and thus life itself, regarded in itself, is only from Him who alone is Life in Himself. From this, moreover, they know, and from a spiritual idea they also perceive, that every thing, that it may be anything, must be in connection with a First, and that it is, according as it is in this connection.

From this it is clear how foolishly those think who derive the origin of life from nature, and believe that man learns to think by an influx of interior nature and its order, and not from God, who is the very Esse of life, and from whom is all the order of both worlds, the spiritual as well as the natural, in accordance with which life flows in, life eternal with those who can be disposed to receive life according to Divine order, but the opposite life, which is called spiritual death, with those who cannot be so disposed, thus who live contrary to Divine order. The Divine good that proceeds from the Lord is that from which order comes, and the Divine truths are the laws of order (as may be seen in The Doctrine of the New Jerusalem 279).

[6] Everyone should guard against the belief that the Divine life with anyone, even with the evil and in hell, is changed; for, as was said above, the life itself is not changed or varied, but the life produces an appearance of the recipient form, through which and from which the life is transmitted; much as everyone appears in a mirror such as he is through the light, the light remaining unchanged, and simply presenting the form to the sight; and just as the same life presents itself to be perceived according to the form of the bodily organ, thus after one manner in the eye, after another manner in the hearing, and otherwise in the smell, taste, and touch. The belief that life is varied and changed is from an appearance, which is a fallacy like the fallacy from the appearance that influx is physical, when yet influx is spiritual. (But on this subject see further in Heaven and Hell 9; to which may be added what is cited from Arcana Coelestia, respecting the Influx of Life, inDoctrine of the New Jerusalem 277, 278; and on the Influx of Life with animals, in Arcana Coelestia 5850, 6211; and in Heaven and Hell 39, 108, 110, 435, 567; likewise in Last Judgment 25.)

[7] These things have been said to make known that there is one only life, and that whatever things live, live from that life. It shall now be shown that the Lord is that Life itself, or that He alone lives, since this is what is signified by "Him that liveth unto the ages of the ages." That there is one only Divine, and that is not to be divided into three persons according to the faith of Athanasius, can be seen from what has been several times said above, and especially from what will be said particularly on this subject at the end of this work. And as the Lord's Divine, which is the one only Divine, took on a Human, and made that also Divine, therefore both of these are the Life from which all live. That this is so may be known from the words of the Lord Himself, in the following passages. In John:

As the Father raiseth the dead and maketh them live, so also the Son maketh whom He will to live. As the Father hath life in Himself, so hath He given to the Son to have life in Himself (John 5:21, 26).

"Father" here means the Lord's Divine Itself, which took on the Human, for this Divine was in Him from conception, and because He was conceived from this, He called it, and no other, "Father." The "Son" means the Lord's Divine Human; that this, in like manner, is life itself, the Lord teaches in express words, saying, "as the Father maketh to live, the Son also maketh whom He will to live;" and "as the Father hath life in Himself, so hath He given to the Son to have life in Himself." "To have life in Himself" is to be Life itself; the others are not life, but they have life from that Life.

[8] In the same:

I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one cometh unto the Father but through Me (John 14:6).

"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life," was said of the Lord's Human; for He also says, "no one comes unto the Father but through Me," His "Father" being the Divine in Him, which was His own Divine. This makes clear that the Lord also, in respect to His Human, is Life, consequently that His Human also in like manner is Divine.

[9] In the same:

Jesus said, I am the Resurrection and the Life; he that believeth in Me, though he die yet shall he live. Everyone that liveth and believeth in Me shall not die forever (John 11:25-26).

This, too, the Lord said of His Human; and as He is Life Itself, and all have life from Him, and those who believe in Him have life eternal, therefore He says that He is "the Resurrection and the Life," and "he that believeth in Me shall not die forever;" "to believe in the Lord" signifies to be conjoined to Him in love and faith, and "not to die" signifies not to die spiritually, that is, not to be damned, for the life of the damned is called "death."

[10] In the same:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and God was the Word. In Him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the Word became flesh, and dwelt in us (John 1:1, 4, 14).

It is known that "the Word" means the Lord; His Human is evidently the Word, for it is said, "the Word became flesh, and dwelt in us;" and that His Human was equally Divine with the Divine Itself that took on the Human is evident from this, that a distinction is made between them, and that each is called God, for it is said, "the Word was with God, and God was the Word," and "in Him was life." That all live from Him is meant by "the life was the light of men;" "the light of men" is the life of their thought and understanding; for the Divine Proceeding, which is specially meant by "the Word," appears in heaven as the light which enables angels not only to see, but also to think and understand, and according to its reception to be wise (See Heaven and Hell 126-140). This light proceeding from the Lord is life itself, which not only enlightens the understanding, as the sun of the world does the eye, but also vivifies it according to reception; and when this light is received in the life, it is called "the light of life" in the same:

Jesus said, I am the light of the world; he that followeth Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life (John 8:12).

[11] He is also called "the bread of life" in the same:

The bread of God is he that cometh down out of heaven, and giveth life unto the world. I am the Bread of life (John 6:33, 35, 47-48, 51).

"The Bread of God" and "the Bread of life" is that from which all have life. Since the life that is called intelligence and wisdom is from the Lord, it follows also that life in general is from Him; for the particular things of life, which make its perfection and which are insinuated into man according to reception, all belong to the general life. This life is perfected to the extent that the evils into which man is born are removed from it.

[12] That those who are conjoined to the Lord by means of love and faith receive eternal life, that is, the life of heaven, which is salvation, is evident from the following passages. In John:

I am the Vine, and ye are the branches; he that abideth in Me, and I in him, the same beareth much fruit; for without Me ye cannot do anything. If a man abide not in Me he is cast forth, and as a branch he withereth (John 15:5-6).

In the same:

Everyone who believeth in Me hath eternal life (John 3:14-16).

In the same:

He that believeth on the Son hath eternal life; but he that believeth not the Son shall not see life, but the anger of God abideth on him (John 3:36).

In the same:

Whoever believeth on the Son hath eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day (John 6:40, 47-48, 54).

In the same:

The sheep follow Me; and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall not perish forever (John 10:27-28).

And in the same:

Search the Scriptures, they bear witness of Me: but ye will not come unto Me, that ye may have life (John 5:39-40).

"To believe in God" and "to believe the things that are from God" are mentioned in the Word; and "to believe in God" is the faith that saves, but "to believe the things that are from God" is an historical faith, which without the former does not save, and therefore is not true faith; for "to believe in God" is to know, to will, and to do; but "to believe the things that are from God" is to know, and this is possible without willing and doing. Those who are truly Christians know, will, and do; but those who are not truly Christians only know; but the latter are called by the Lord "foolish," and the former "prudent" (Matthew 7:24, 26).