2209. 'And I have grown old' means after it ceased to be such - that is, ceased to be [merely] human and not Divine - when that which was human was cast off. This is clear from the meaning of 'growing old' as casting off the human, dealt with above in 2198, 2203. As regards the rational in general, when it thinks about Divine things, especially from the truth it possesses, it cannot possibly believe that such things exist. It is unable to do so because for one thing it has no grasp of them, and for another appearances born from the illusions of the senses cling to it, by means of which and from which it thinks, as becomes clear from the examples which have been introduced above in 2196. To these, for the sake of illustration, let the following be added.

[2] Is the rational, if consulted, able to believe in the existence of the internal sense of the Word which, as has been shown, is so remote from the literal sense? And is it thus able to believe that the Word is that which joins heaven and earth together, that is, the Lord's kingdom in heaven to the Lord's kingdom on earth? Is the rational able to believe that souls after death converse with one another most distinctly, doing so not by means of speech consisting of spoken words, yet nevertheless so completely that they express more in a minute than man does in an hour by the use of his speech; or that the angels likewise converse with one another, but in a language which is more perfect still though imperceptible to spirits; and also that all souls on entering the next life know how to use this kind of speech even though they are never taught how to do so? Is the rational able to believe that present within one affection which a person has, indeed within a single sigh expressing his affection, there are things perceived by angels which are so countless that they cannot possibly be described; or that every affection which a person has, indeed every idea comprising his thought, is an image of him and is such that it includes within it in a wondrous fashion every detail of his life, besides thousands upon thousands of other such things?

[3] When the rational which derives its wisdom from the evidence of the senses, and is wrapped in the illusions of the senses, thinks about such things it does not believe that they can be so, for it is not able to form any idea for itself except from such things as it perceives by some sensory power whether external or internal. How must it be when it thinks about Divine celestial and Divine spiritual things which are higher still? For there must always exist, born from the evidence of the senses, some appearances for thought to rest upon, and when these appearances are withdrawn the idea ceases to exist. This has also become clear to me from spirits who are newcomers and who take very great delight in the appearances they have brought with them from the world. They have said that they did not know whether they would be able to think if those appearances were taken away from them. Such is the nature of the rational regarded in itself.

2203. 'Saying, After I have grown old, shall I have this pleasure?' means that the affection possessed by that truth had no inclination to change its state. This is clear from the meaning of 'growing old' as casting off the human and so as changing its state, dealt with above in 2198, and from the meaning of 'shall I have this pleasure?' as not desiring it, thus that this affection was not so inclined. The implication of these matters becomes clear from what has been stated above in 2196 about Sarah standing at the tent door, and this being behind him, namely that the human rational as regards truth is such that it is not able to understand what the Divine is, for the reason that that truth is immersed in appearances, and consequently that which it cannot understand it does not believe, and that which it does not believe does not affect it. The appearances in which the rational is immersed are such that they do affect it, for the appearances themselves bring delight and therefore if deprived of appearances the rational imagines that no delight is left, whereas heavenly affection is not immersed in appearances but in good and truth themselves. But as rational truth is of this nature, it is also excusable and permissible for it to be immersed in appearances and to take delight in them. Such truth immersed in appearances is represented here by 'Sarah' when the Lord joined Himself to the Divine. This explains why it is said that she stood at the tent door and that she laughed and said, 'After I have grown old shall I have this pleasure?' by which is meant that the affection possessed by rational truth had no inclination to change its state.