3321. 'For I am weary' means a state of conflict. This is clear from the meaning of 'weary' or weariness as a state of conflict, dealt with above in 3318. A second reference occurs here to his being weary so as to confirm the point that the joining together of good and truth within the natural is effected by means of spiritual conflicts, that is, by means of temptations. With regard to the joining together of good and truth in the natural, the position in general is that man's rational receives truths before his natural receives them, the reason being that the Lord's life which, as has been stated, is the life of His love, may be able to flow in by way of the rational into the natural, bring order into it, and make it submissive. For the rational is purer, and the natural grosser, or what amounts to the same, the former is interior, the latter exterior. It is according to order - an order that one can know - that the rational is able to flow into the natural, but not the natural into the rational.

[2] Consequently a person's rational is able to be adjusted to truths and to receive them before the natural does. This becomes quite clear from the fact that the rational man with someone who is to be regenerated conflicts greatly with the natural, or what amounts to the same, the internal man does so with the external. For as is also well known, the internal man is able to see truths and also to will them, but the external man refuses to see them and stands opposed to them. For in the natural man there are facts, which are to a great extent derived from the illusions of the senses, and which, although they are falsities, he nevertheless believes to be truths. There are also countless things which the natural man does not grasp, since the natural man, compared with the rational man, is in shade and thick darkness; and the things which the natural man does not grasp are thought not to exist or not to be so. There are also desires in the natural man which are those of self-love and love of the world, and the things which support those desires he calls truths. And when a person gives in to them everything that arises from them is contrary to spiritual truths. Present also are reasonings derived from falsities imprinted since early childhood. What is more, a person comprehends plainly with his senses the things which exist in his natural man, but less so those which exist in his rational until he has shed the body. This also causes him to suppose that the natural constitutes the whole, and what does not fall within the compass of his natural senses he believes to be scarcely anything.

[3] These and many others are the factors which cause the natural man to receive truths much later and with greater difficulty than the rational man receives them. Consequently conflict occurs, which persists for rather a long time and does not end until the recipient vessels of good in the natural man have been softened by means of temptations, as shown above in 3318; for truths are nothing else than recipient vessels of good, 1496, 1832, 1900, 2063, 2261, 2269. The harder those vessels are the more firmly is a person settled in the things referred to above. And the more firmly settled he is, the more serious is the conflict if he is to be regenerated. This therefore being the situation with the natural man - that the joining of truths to good in the natural man is effected by means of the conflicts brought about by temptations - Esau's statement 'I am weary' occurs a second time here.

1901. 'Perhaps I shall be built up from her' means the possibility of the rational being born in that way. This becomes clear from the meaning, when it has reference to human generation, of 'being built up', and so needs no further explanation. 'Sarai', as stated, means intellectual truth which has been allied as a wife to good. Intellectual truth which resides inmostly is totally lacking in offspring or is like a childless wife, ¹ if there is not as yet any rational into which and through which it may flow, for without the rational as a go-between it cannot flow with any truth at all into the exterior man, as becomes clear in the case of small children. The latter can have no knowledge at all of truth until cognitions have been bestowed on them; but as has been stated the better and more perfectly they have cognitions bestowed on them, the better and more perfectly can intellectual truth which resides inmostly, that is, within good, be communicated.

[2] This intellectual truth represented by Sarai is the spiritual itself which flows in by way of heaven, and so by an internal route. It resides in everyone and is continually coming to meet the cognitions that are introduced by means of perceptions gained by the senses and implanted in the memory. No one is conscious of that intellectual truth within himself as it is too pure to be perceived by a general idea. It is like a kind of light which enlightens the mind and imparts the ability to know, think, and understand. Since the rational cannot come into being except also by means of the influx of intellectual truth, represented by Sarai, it inevitably exists in relation to that truth as its son. When the rational is formed from truths that have been allied to goods, more so when it is formed from goods from which truths derive, it is a true son. Previous to that also it is recognized as a son, yet not as a true son but as one born from a servant-girl. All the same, it is adopted as such, and for the reason here stated, that it was 'to be built up from her'.

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