156b. ¹ THE CONJUNCTION OF SOULS AND MINDS BY MARRIAGE MEANT BY THE LORD'S SAYING THAT THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE FLESH

An inclination and also a capacity for conjunction as though into one was implanted in man and woman from creation, and man and woman still have this inclination and capacity in them. That this is so appears from the book of creation, and at the same time from what the Lord said. In the book of creation, which we call Genesis, we read:

Jehovah God fashioned the rib, which He had taken from the man, into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And the man said, "This one, this time, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman ('ishshah), because she was taken from man ('ish). For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, and they shall be as one flesh." (Genesis 2:22-24)

The Lord also said something similar in Matthew:

Have you not read that He who made them from the beginning...male and female..., said, "For this reason a man shall leave father and mother and cling to his wife, and the two shall be as one flesh"? Therefore they are no longer two, but one flesh. (Matthew 19:4-6)

[2] It is apparent from these verses that woman was created out of man, and that they each have both an inclination and a capacity for reuniting themselves into one. This means into one person, as is also apparent from the book of creation, where the two together are called "man." For we read:

In the day that God created man..., He created them male and female...and called their name Man.... (Genesis 5:1-2)

We find the reading here, "He called their name Adam," but "Adam" and "man" are the same word in the Hebrew. Moreover, both together are called "man" in Genesis 1:27 and 3:22-24. "One flesh" also means "one person," as is apparent from passages in the Word where the term "all flesh" occurs, meaning "every person" (such as in Genesis 6:12-13,17,19; ² Isaiah 40:5-6, 49:26, 66:16,23-24; Jeremiah 25:31, 32:27, 45:5; Ezekiel 20:48, 21:4-5; and elsewhere).

[3] But as for the meaning of the rib of the man which was fashioned into a woman, of the flesh which was closed up in its place, and consequently what is meant by "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh," also what is meant by the father and mother which a man is to leave when he marries, and by his clinging to his wife - this we showed in Arcana Coelestia (The Secrets of Heaven), where we explained the two books, Genesis and Exodus, in their spiritual sense. We established there that a rib does not mean a rib, nor flesh flesh, nor a bone bone, nor cling cling, but that they mean spiritual things, to which they correspond and which they therefore symbolize. They mean the spiritual things which mold one person out of two, and this is evident from the fact that it is conjugial love which joins them together, and this love is spiritual.

We have said several times above that a man's love of wisdom is transferred into his wife, and this will be more fully established in the chapters that follow next. We cannot go off and thus digress now from the subject matter before us here, which is the conjunction of two married partners into one flesh by a union of their souls and minds. This union, however, will be made clear according to the following outline:

1. Each sex has implanted in it from creation a capacity and inclination that gives them the ability and the will to be joined together as though into one.

2. Conjugial love joins two souls and thus two minds into one.

3. A wife's will unites itself with her husband's understanding, and the husband's understanding in consequence unites itself with his wife's will.

4. A desire to unite her husband to her is constant and continual in a wife, but inconstant and intermittent in a husband.

5. A wife inspires the union in her husband according to her love, and a husband receives it according to his wisdom.

6. This union takes place gradually from the first days of marriage, and in people who are in a state of truly conjugial love, it becomes deeper and deeper to eternity.

7. A wife's union with her husband's intellectual wisdom takes place inwardly, but with his moral wisdom outwardly.

8. In order that this union may be achieved, a wife is given a perception of her husband's affections, and also the highest prudence in knowing how to moderate them.

9. Wives keep this perception in them hidden and conceal it from their husbands for reasons that are necessary in building conjugial love, friendship and trust, so that they may have bliss in living together and happiness of life.

10. This perception is a wisdom that the wife has. A man is not capable of it, neither is a wife capable of her husband's intellectual wisdom.

11. A wife from her love continually thinks about her husband's disposition towards her, with a view to joining him to her. This is not true of a husband.

12. A wife joins herself to her husband by appeals to his will's desires.

13. A wife is joined to her husband by the atmosphere of her life emanating from her love.

14. A wife is joined to her husband by her assimilation of the powers of his manhood, though this depends on the spiritual love they have for each other.

15. A wife thus receives into herself an image of her husband, and from it perceives, sees and feels his affections.

16. A husband has duties appropriate to him, and a wife duties appropriate to her, and a wife cannot enter into duties appropriate to her husband or a husband into duties appropriate to his wife and perform them properly.

17. These duties also join the two into one, and at the same time make a single household, depending on the assistance they render each other.

18. According as the aforementioned conjunctions are formed, married partners become more and more one person.

19. Partners who are in a state of truly conjugial love feel themselves to be a united person and as though one flesh.

20. Truly conjugial love regarded in itself is a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, an effort to conjunction in breasts, and a consequent effort to conjunction in body.

21. The states produced by this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, complete trust, and a mutual desire in mind and heart to do the other every good; also, as a result of all these, bliss, felicity, delight, pleasure, and, owing to an eternal enjoyment of states like this, the happiness of heaven.

22. These blessings are not at all possible except in a marriage of one man with one wife.

Explanation of these statements now follows.

Note a piè di pagina:

10122. 'And a young bull of sin [offering] you shall offer daily at propitiations' means the continuous removal of evils and consequently of falsities in the natural man by means of the good of innocence from the Lord. This is clear from the meaning of 'a young bull' as the good of innocence in the natural man, dealt with in 9391, 9990; from the meaning of 'sin' as purification from evils and consequently falsities (by 'sin' a sacrifice for sin should be understood, 10039, and 'a sin sacrifice' means purification from evils and falsities, 9938, 9990, 10022, 10053), the reason for saying 'the removal' of evils and consequently of falsities being that the evils and falsities with a person are not cast out, only removed or moved back, see the places referred to in 10057; from the meaning of 'daily' or each day as continuously; and from the meaning of 'propitiations' as reception of the good of love and truth of faith from the Lord after the removal of evils and consequently of falsities, dealt with in 9506.

[2] The words 'removal of evils and consequently of falsities' are used because all falsities exist as a result of evil; therefore to the extent that evil is removed falsities are removed. The situation is that all things in heaven have connection with good and consequently with truth, and all things in hell with evil and consequently with falsity. The same is so in people. All the things with a person that come from heaven have connection with good and truth, and all those that come from hell have connection with evil and falsity. Or what amounts to the same thing, all things with a person which originate in the Lord have connection with good and truth, but all that originate in the person himself have connection with evil and falsity. Since good and truth or falsity and evil are what everything throughout creation has connection with, and the human being is the place where they are received, a person has two mental powers to receive them. One is called the will and the other the understanding, the will being what receives good or evil, and the understanding what receives truth or falsity. The will formed by the Lord, also called the new will, receives good, while the understanding formed by the Lord, also called the new understanding, receives truth. But the will properly a person's own, also called the old will, receives evil, and the understanding properly a person's own, also called the old understanding, receives falsity. A person possesses the old will and understanding through being born from his parents, but he comes to have the new will and understanding through being born from the Lord, which happens when he is being regenerated. For when being regenerated a person is conceived anew and is born anew.

[3] The human being has been created in such a way that will and understanding may make one, so that these two together may constitute a whole person. For a person has been given an understanding to comprehend truth, yet to the end that truth may be implanted in his will and become good. And to the extent that it is integrated into the will it has a place in that person; for the will is the inmost part of a person and is the inner being of his life, whereas the understanding is more external and derives its being from the will. For what a person wills he loves, and what he loves gives him a feeling of delight and is therefore called good by him. The understanding lends support to and strengthens it by means of reasons which it calls truths. So it is that will and understanding in reality make one. The situation may indeed seem to be other than this, as when a person understands the truth and yet wills what is evil; even so, when he is left alone to think for himself, what he understands is in full agreement with what he wills, that is, what he loves.

[4] The fact that a person who wills what is evil can nevertheless speak what is true and also do what is good is due to hypocrisy, which uses truth and good as means to its own ends. If those means are taken away from such a person and he is left in freedom, he plunges, under the influence of his unrestrained will, into evils, and uses his power of understanding to defend them. This is above all evident from the same kind of people in the next life. There everyone comes into a state [of life] akin to that of his will, and then people in whom a new will has not been formed by the Lord plunge into evils of every kind and think such things as endorse evils, even though what they had spoken and what they had done in the world had been completely different from this. For it is a law of Divine order that will and understanding should form a mind at unity, thus a person at unity, consequently that the entire person should be either in heaven or in hell and not hanging between the two, that is, with his eye looking towards the things of heaven and his heart set on those of hell. By heart is meant the will, and by eye the understanding.