The Betrothal

A Christmas Doctrinal Class by Rev. Andrew M.T. Dibb

Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary. (Luke 1:26-27)

So begins the wonderful story of the Lord's conception in the Gospel of Luke. The scene is familiar to each of us: Mary is at home, when suddenly she sees the angel Gabriel and hears his words of great joy:

"Rejoice, highly favoured one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!" (Luke 1:28)

An angel is a messenger of the Lord. In the Word angels came to bring wisdom and comfort, hope and the good news, the “euangellion” or Gospel, to those to whom the Lord wanted His presence revealed. This Gospel is the teaching that the Lord Jesus Christ was born into this world, that He made it possible for all people to be saved and brought into His kingdom. Thus the angel Gabriel came in excitement to Mary to inform her that she was the Lord’s choice as His natural mother.

When Mary saw the angel Gabriel, she didn't know that he was the human form of an entire society of angels. Nor did she know that his greatest love is to tell people about the Lord, especially that He would be born into the world to save the human race from spiritual bondage.

The scene of the angel Gabriel announcing to Mary that she would conceive and bear a son, and call His name Jesus, is one of the most poignant in the Word. Mary was a simple person, living in Galilee far away from the centre of worship at Jerusalem. She was neither highly educated nor socially well connected, except that she descended from Israel’s greatest king, David. There is a beautiful innocence in Mary’s simplicity. The last thing she expected in life was to see an angel. The image we have of Mary is of a demure young maiden, a virgin in every sense, for, as she said to the angel, 'I do not know a man'. Her state of life was that of a young woman about to embark on her married life to Joseph, but still living at home with her parents. The marriage had not yet been celebrated.

It is central to the Christmas story that Mary was betrothed to Joseph when the angel Gabriel appeared to her. This fact is mentioned in the lesson we read in the Gospel of Luke, where it is plainly stated that she was a 'virgin betrothed'. In Matthew we are again told that Mary was 'betrothed to Joseph'. This means that she had been promised as a wife to Joseph. In our culture, we would say that they were engaged to be married.

There are several good reasons why Mary should have been in this state when she conceived the Lord:

- In the Jewish Church of that time betrothal was considered marriage, although the marriage had not yet been consummated. This meant that the people around her considered Mary a woman, and it also meant that her mind was focusing on the upcoming marriage and future life as a wife and a mother.

- She was expected, during this period of betrothal, to remain in a state of order. She was not free to come into romantic contact with any other man, and she certainly was not permitted to have sexual intercourse with any man, including her husband to be.

The angel appeared to her in this state precisely for that reason - the child who was to be conceived needed to be conceived in a state of virginity, and there could be no question down the ages that Jesus was the son of an ordinary man. This is why Mary protested that she could not conceive because she 'had not known a man'.

There is a very good reason for this: the doctrines tell us that the human soul is transmitted as the living principle of the masculine seed. That soul, or internal human is passed from father to child, is an image of the father's own soul - although the life in it is from the Divine Itself. When a child is conceived, that human soul can receive life from the Lord, and, using the life in it, begins to draw from the mother the various substances needed to form the human body. When the child is born, he or she becomes an individual, drawing life from the Lord, and potential spiritual things from both mother and father, and the body from the mother. Thus there is a complete mixing of parents in the birth of a child.

When the angel Gabriel came to Mary, he announced the birth of the Lord. It was to be a miracle of all miracles, for according to prophecy a virgin would conceive and bear a son. He was conceived of the Holy Spirit. His soul was Divine, given to Him by the Father, or, put another way, the soul within Jesus was not limited and finite as our souls are, but infinite and eternal, and capable of overcoming the powers of hell and saving the human race.

Here's an excerpt from Swedenborg's work, Arcana Coelestia 1999: "But the Lord's Internal was Jehovah Himself, since He was conceived from Jehovah, who cannot be divided or become the relative of another, like a son who has been conceived from a human father. For unlike the human, the Divine is not capable of being divided but is and remains one and the same. To this Internal the Lord united the Human Essence. Moreover because the Lord's Internal was Jehovah it was not, like man's internal, a recipient form of life, but life itself. Through that union His Human Essence as well became life itself. Hence the Lord's frequent declaration that He is Life, as in John,

As the Father has Life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have Life in Himself. John 5:26."

Yet even a soul such as that, if it is to live and walk amongst the people of this earth, must be clothed in a body. The Lord always operates within the boundaries of the order of creation - and order dictates that a soul must be clothed with a material body.

At first the father’s soul is clothed with human elements, for it begins as a reproduction of the father’s own soul, then,

"during its descent, … the soul is enveloped by elements of a type that have to do with the father's natural love. This is the source from which hereditary evil springs." (Conjugial Love 245)

And so the Lord needed an orderly environment in which to be born. Mary was chosen as His mother because, according to the Lord's all-seeing wisdom, He saw that she would be willing to carry this child, and she would be able to nurture Him in such a way that He would grow up prepared for the great work ahead of Him.

Yet Mary had to be in a state of order herself. In ancient Israel, to bear a child meant that she had to be married, and yet to preserve the honesty of the conception and ensure that the soul was Divine, not human, she had to be in the state before actual physical union with Joseph had taken place - otherwise the Lord could have been Joseph's son. So she had to be betrothed, and no motive should be found as a basis for accusations against the Virgin Birth.

It was partly for this reason that when Joseph heard that she was carrying a child he decided to put her away. Effectively this meant he planned to divorce her. According to the law of Moses, a betrothed woman carrying a child had broken the rules. Ideally speaking, the man responsible should be put to death. Joseph had no idea who the man was, but assumed that there was one. He was, however, a kind man, and so decided not 'to make her a public example', but to put her away privately.

It was at this juncture that the angel Gabriel came to Joseph in a dream, and soothed his fears. 'The child she is carrying,' the angel said, 'is conceived by the Holy Spirit.' Now Joseph understood, and the state of betrothal could continue, and order could be maintained so that the Lord could be born into this world with the full appearance of two loving parents, bound together in marriage after an orderly betrothal.

We now need to expand our vision of the Lord's life in this world. The conception of the Lord was but the first step in his development. He had to be born and grow up. His mind and body had to develop as does our own. The home of Mary and Joseph was needed to provide a stable and orderly environment for Him where He could live and grow, undergoing not only physical and mental development, but also the very processes by which His Divine soul could become present within His natural mind.

In picking these two people to be his 'parents' in the natural world, the Lord was able to provide for the future as well. The Word does not tell us anything about the marriage relationship between Joseph and Mary. We know that Joseph was obedient to the angel when he was told to take Mary and the infant Lord down to Egypt to escape Herod's cruelty. We know that each year they travelled to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. We know that had other children, whom likewise they loved and nurtured. But that is about all we know.

The book, Conjugial Love, by Emanuel Swedenborg, however, gives us some insights into the kind of orderly relationship they had. They begin in the concept of Betrothal, for betrothal is introductory to marriage. The kinds of preparation people make for their marriages determine a great deal the course their marriage will follow. The fact that Mary in her betrothed state had 'not known a man' indicates that she took the responsibilities of that state serious. Similarly, the fact that Joseph immediately knew that he was not the father of the child Mary carried indicates a similar seriousness about the state of betrothal. They were both innocent of any wrongdoing, and were obviously committed to building a life together based on the firm foundation of proper preparation.

Their betrothal prepared them for their future life together as man and wife, and, thus as the Lord's parents on earth. Betrothal is a preparation for marriage. It is a time when the minds and spirits of the two partners begin to grow together.

The teachings of the New Church tell us that true marriage, or conjugial love as it is often called, is a meeting and union of two minds. A true marriage is one in which the couple recognises the essential differences between masculinity and femininity, and rejoices in those differences without any attempt to dominate the other. In order for a couple to come into a true appreciation of each other, they need to put aside physical love to foster and nurture spiritual love. This is why Mary and Joseph lived apart during this stage of their relationship, and why they refrained from sexual activity, for in that way they made it possible for their minds to soar, and be united at the highest levels of idealism.

The book Conjugial Love tells us that in this state the mind of each partner is opened by his or her spiritual love. They are able to reach higher levels of love and commitment to each other as they foster the growth of mutual understanding unencumbered by physical things. The passage describing this development, then, goes on to describe how when a couple marry their love descends from the mind to the body. It is worth reflecting on the statement that

"It needs to be known that the quality of conjugial love as it comes down is determined by the height to which it climbs. If it reaches the heights it comes down chaste, but if it does not, it comes down as unchaste." (Conjugial Love 302).

With Mary and Joseph we can but only assume that their love reached its heights during their betrothal, and that their marriage was one of purity and chastity. Chastity in this sense means a marriage love between two people that has been cleansed of all impurities. In such a state the husband and wife enjoy the full pleasures of marriage, beginning on the spiritual level with a full meeting of minds, and descends into the body, where their love is consummated.

A marriage of this kind provides the most wonderful environment, for the love between the husband and wife provides a state of tranquillity and peace in which children can be reared. This is the kind of environment the Lord chose to be born into. He knew that during his life in this world He would have to face the most terrible of temptations. He knew that He would have to battle against hell continuously, and face the disbelief of the people around Him. His first thirty-three years were a preparation for this work lying before Him. And so He chose to be born to a couple who were in a state of order, who because of that order, were willing to receive Him into their lives, to nurture Him as if He was their own.

There is a message in this for us. Each one of us wants the Lord to be born into our own lives, and He is willing to come to us. "Behold,' He says, 'I stand at the door and knock'. Yet He can only enter into us to the degree that we bring our lives into order. Mary and Joseph clung to their betrothal - they committed themselves and stood fast. That is what the Lord wants us to do: to commit ourselves to Him, to live according to His Word in every detail of our lives, especially in our relationships with others, in our preparation for marriage, and in our marriages themselves. As we do, then He enters into us, establishes His presence there, and lifts us up to heaven.

AMEN

Lessons:

Deuteronomy 22:25-29

Isaiah 7:14-16

Luke 1:26-38

Conjugial Love 302

820. As it was shown in a preceding article (n. 817), that Cain, Reuben, and the Philistines, represent in the Word those who are in truths separated from good, I will now show that the apostle Peter in the Word of the Evangelists means truth from good which is from the Lord, and also in the contrary sense, truth separated from good. And as truth is of faith and good is of charity, "Peter" also means faith from charity, and again faith separated from charity. For the twelve apostles, like the twelve tribes of Israel, represented the church in respect to all things of it, thus in respect to truths and goods, since all things of the church have reference to these, the same as to faith and love; for truths are of faith, and goods are of love. In general, Peter, James, and John, represented faith, charity, and the works of charity; and this is why these three followed the Lord more than the others, and it is said of them in Mark:

He suffered no one to follow Him save Peter, James, and John (Mark 5:37).

[2] And as truth from good, which is from the Lord, is the first thing of the church, Peter was the first to be called by his brother Andrew, and afterwards James and John were called, as is evident in Matthew:

Jesus walking by the sea of Galilee saw two brethren, Simon called Peter and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishers. And He said unto them, Come ye after Me, and I will make you fishers of men. And straightway leaving their nets they followed Him (Matthew 4:18-20).

In John:

Andrew findeth his own brother Simon, and saith unto him, We have found the Messiah, which is, being interpreted, the Christ. And therefore he brought him to Jesus. And Jesus looking upon him, said unto him, Thou art Simon the son of Jonah; thou shalt be called Cephas, which is, by interpretation, Peter (John 1:41-43)

In Mark:

Jesus going up into a mountain calls unto Him whom He would, first Simon upon whom He conferred the name Peter, and afterwards James the son of Zebedee, and John the brother of James (Mark 3:13, 16, 17).

Peter was the first of the apostles because truth from good is the first thing of the church; for, from the world a man does not know anything about heaven and hell, nor of a life after death, nor even about God. His natural light teaches nothing except what has entered through the eyes, thus nothing except what relates to the world and to self; and from these is his life; and so long as he is in these only he is in hell; and therefore, that he may be withdrawn from these and be led to heaven he must needs learn truths, which teach not only that there is a God, that there is a heaven and a hell, and that there is a life after death, but also teach the way to heaven. From this it is clear that truth is the first thing through which man has the church. But it must be truth from good, for truth without good is mere knowledge that a thing is so; and mere knowledge does nothing except to make a man capable of becoming a church; but this is not effected until he lives according to knowledges. Then truth is conjoined to good, and man is introduced into the church. Moreover, truths teach how a man ought to live; and when man is affected by truths for the sake of truths, which is done when he loves to live according to them, he is led by the Lord, and conjunction with heaven is granted him, and he becomes spiritual, and after death an angel of heaven. Nevertheless it is to be known that it is not truths that produce these effects, but good by means of truths; and good is from the Lord. Because truth from good, which is from the Lord, is the first thing of the church, Peter was the first to be called, and was the first of the apostles, and he was also named by the Lord "Cephas," which means petra [a rock]; but, that it might be the name of a person, he is called Petrus [Peter]. In the highest sense "rock" [Petra] signifies the Lord in relation to Divine truth, or Divine truth proceeding from the Lord; consequently in a relative sense "rock" signifies truth from good, which is from the Lord, the like is meant by Peter. (That "rock" has this signification see above, n. 411. But what "Simon son of Jonah" signifies see also above, n. 443.

[3] These three apostles were fishermen, and the Lord said unto them, "Come ye after Me, and I will make you fishers of men," because "to fish" signifies to instruct natural men; for there were at that time, both within the church and outside of it, natural men who became spiritual as they received the Lord and received truths from Him.

[4] From this the signification of the Lord's words to Peter concerning the keys may be deduced; as in Matthew:

When some had said that Jesus was John the Baptist, others Elijah, others Jeremiah or another of the prophets, Jesus said to the disciples, But whom say ye that I am? Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon son of Jonah; for flesh and blood hath not revealed this unto thee, but My Father who is in the heavens. And I say also unto thee, Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of the heavens, and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in the heavens; and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in the heavens (Matthew 16:14-19).

This was said by the Lord to Peter because truth from good, which is from the Lord, is the first thing of the church, and this was what Peter signified; and this was said when he acknowledged the Lord to be the Messiah or the Christ, and to be the Son of the living God; for without such an acknowledgment truth is not truth, because truth derives its origin, essence, and life from good, and good from the Lord. Because truth from good, which is from the Lord, is the first thing of the church, therefore the Lord says, "upon this rock will I build My church." It has been said just above that "Peter" or "Rock" signifies in the highest sense Divine truth proceeding from the Lord, and in a relative sense truth from good, which is from the Lord. That "the gates of hell shall not prevail" signifies that falsities from evil, which are from the hells, will not dare to rise up against those of the church who are in truths from good from the Lord, "the gates of hell" signifying all things of hell, for there are gates to all the hells through which falsities from evil exhale and rise up. "The keys of the heavens" signify the introduction into heaven of all those who are in truths from good from the Lord; "whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in the heavens, and whatsoever thou shalt loose on the earth shall be loosed in the heavens," signifies that heaven is opened by the Lord to those who are in truths from good from Him; and that it is closed to those who are not. These things were said to Peter; but because "Peter" means truth from good, which is from the Lord, they were said of the Lord, who is the source of good and its truth; and this is why they were said when Peter acknowledged the Lord to be the Messiah or the Christ, and the Son of the living God. Moreover, as soon as good is implanted in truths with man he is conjoined with the angels; but so long as good is not implanted in truths with man heaven is closed to him; for he then has evil in place of good, and falsities in place of truths. From this it is clear how sensuously those think who attribute such authority to Peter, when yet such authority belongs to the Lord alone.

[5] That "Peter" signifies truth from good, which is from the Lord, has been made manifest to me from heaven, as may be seen in the work on The Last Judgement (n. 57). Because "Peter" signified truth from good which is from the Lord, and consequently also doctrine, and thus he represented those who are in truths from good and in the doctrine of genuine truth from the Lord, and since such as these instruct others, and are instructed by the Lord, therefore Peter so often spoke with the Lord and was also instructed by the Lord. He spoke with the Lord at His transfiguration:

About making three tabernacles (Matthew 17:1-5; Mark 9:2-8; Luke 9:26-36).

The Lord then represented the Word, which is Divine truth; and "tabernacles" signify the worship of the Lord from the good of love and truths therefrom. (See above concerning the Lord's transfiguration, n. 594; and concerning the signification of tabernacles, n. 799).

He spake about the Lord:

That He was the Christ, the Son of the living God (John 6:67-69).

He was taught by the Lord:

Respecting charity, that a brother must be forgiven as often as he sinned (Matthew 18:21, 22).

Respecting regeneration, which is signified by the one who having once bathed has no need except to wash his feet (John 13:10);

Respecting the power of truth from good from the Lord, which is meant by the power of those who have the faith of God (Mark 11:21, 23, 24);

Respecting sins, that they are forgiven to those who are in faith from love (Luke 7:40-48);

Respecting men who are spiritual, as being free; and those who are natural, as being servants, about which Peter was taught when he took the stater out of the mouth of a fish and gave it for tribute (a fish signifying the natural man, as likewise one that pays tribute. Matthew 17:24-27); as well as many other things (respecting which see Matthew 14:26-31; 19:27, 28; Mark 10:28, seq.; Mark 13:3, seq.; Mark 16:7; Luke 22:8, seq.; Luke 24:12, 33, 34; John 1, 8:10, 11; 20:3-8; 21:1-11).

[6] It was because Peter represented those who are in truths from the good of love to the Lord, or in doctrine from truths, and these are they who instruct others, that the Lord said to Peter when he replied that he loved Him, that "he should feed His lambs and sheep," respecting which in John:

When they had breakfasted, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon son of Jonas, lovest thou Me more than these? He saith unto Him, Yea, Lord, Thou knowest that I love Thee. He saith unto him, Feed My lambs. He saith to him again, Simon son of Jonas, lovest thou Me? He saith unto Him, Yea, Lord, Thou knowest that I love Thee. He saith unto him, Feed My sheep. He saith unto him the third time, Simon son of Jonas, lovest thou Me? Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, Lovest thou Me? And he saith unto Him, Lord, Thou knowest all things; Thou knowest that I love Thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed My sheep (John 21:15-17).

From this it is clearly evident that Peter represented truth from the good of love to the Lord, and this is why he was now called Simon son of Jonas, for "Simon son of Jonas" signifies faith from charity; "Simon" signifies hearkening and obedience, and "Jonas" means a dove, which signifies charity. That those who are in the doctrine of truth from love to the Lord are to instruct those who will be of the Lord's church is meant by the Lord's asking, "Lovest thou Me?" and afterwards by "Feed My lambs" and "My sheep." Not that Peter only would instruct, but all those who were represented by Peter, who, as has been said, are those who are in love to the Lord, and thence in truths from the Lord. Peter was asked three times to signify the full time of the church from its beginning to its end, for this is the signification of "three;" so when he was asked the third time it is said that "Peter was grieved."

[7] And as the third asking signified the end of the church, therefore these words of the Lord to Peter immediately follow in John:

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast younger thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldst; but when thou shalt be old thou shalt stretch forth thy hands and another shall gird thee, and lead thee whither thou wouldst not. And when He had thus spoken He saith unto him, Follow Me. Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved, following; which also leaned on His breast at supper. Peter, seeing then, ¹ saith to Jesus, Lord, but what about this one? Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou Me. This saying therefore went forth among the brethren, that that disciple should not die. Yet Jesus said not unto him that he should not die, but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? (John 21:18-23).

What all this signifies no one can know unless he knows that "Peter" signifies faith from charity, and also faith without charity, faith from charity in the church at its beginning, and faith without charity when the church comes to its end; thus "Peter when he was younger" signifies the faith of the church in its beginning, and "when he became old" the faith of the church coming to an end; and "to gird himself and walk" signifies to learn truths and live according to them. From this it is evident that "I say unto thee, when thou wast younger thou girdedst thyself and walkedst whither thou wouldst," signifies that the church in its beginning will be instructed in truths that are from good, and by means of them will be led by the Lord; and that "When thou shalt be old thou shalt stretch forth thine hands and another shall gird thee, and lead thee whither thou wouldst not," signifies that the church at its end will not know truths, but falsities that belong to faith without charity, and will be led by them, "to gird oneself" like as "to be clothed" signifying to be instructed in truths, because "garments" signify truths clothing good (See above, n. 195, 395, 637), and "to walk" signifying to live according to truths (See above, n. 97[1-2]); consequently "to gird himself and walk whither he would" signifies to consider freely and to see truths, and do them; while "to stretch forth the hands" signifies not to be in such freedom; for "the hands" signify the power of truth from the understanding and perception of it, and "to stretch forth the hands" signifies not to have that power, thus neither the freedom to think and to see truth. "Another shall gird thee, and lead thee whither thou wouldst not," signifies to acknowledge as truths what another dictates, and what one does not see for oneself, as is done at this day with the religion of faith alone. This faith is what is now meant by "Peter," and therefore it is said that Peter turning about saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, and said of him, "But what about this one?" likewise that Jesus said to Peter, "What is that to thee?" "The disciple following Jesus" signifies the goods of life, which are good works; and that these will not perish to the end of life is signified by the words that here follow.

[8] From this it can now be seen that "Peter" signifies also faith separated from charity, as also when:

Peter thrice denied the Lord (Matthew 26:69-75; Mark 14:29-31, 54, 66-72; Luke 22:33, 34, 50, 51, 55-62; John 13:36-38; 18:16-18, 25-27).

Also when the Lord, turning away from Peter, said to him, Get thee behind Me, Satan, thou art a stumbling-block unto Me; for thou savorest not the things that are of God, but the things that are of men (Matthew 16:21-23).

Also when the Lord said to him, Simon, Simon, Behold Satan demanded you that he might sift you as wheat (Luke 22:31).

All these things have been cited to make known that "Peter" in the representative sense signifies in the Gospels truth from good, which is from the Lord; also faith from charity; and also in the contrary sense truth separated from good, which in itself is falsity; also faith separated from charity, which in itself is not faith.

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