For each of us, there's a path heading in the right direction, and it's open for us to follow. If we follow it, we will allow the Lord to grow new, good, loves in our hearts, and - in the end - our guiding love will be a love to the Lord, and the neighbor, and we will accept salvation.
We're born with lots of built-in tendencies. Some of them are evil. They show up pretty early... think "the terrible twos". They stay with us, tenaciously. But, part of our minds can rise above that selfishness, and ask the Lord's help to fight those evil loves. When we do that, we start on the road to Regeneration, or Rebirth.
New Christian thought emphasizes processes - the process of shunning evil, the process of learning truths, the process of making yourself develop good habits. One key process - and mindset - is that of being useful.