I was talking recently with someone who was looking forward to becoming a father. He asked me, "Is it hard to learn how to be a good father? How did you deal with that change in your life?"

"One of the nice things about becoming a father," I said, "is that it happened one step at a time. First we got engaged, and then some time later we got married. During that time, talking about parenting helped prepare me mentally. A few months after our marriage, my wife became pregnant, and then we still had nine months before our child was actually born."

"Of course, having a new baby was a big change, but still there were many parenting tasks that came later. For example, discipline wasn't an issue for the first year, and it was two years before we had to help our son learn to get along with his new baby sister. Being a good father all at once would be impossible, but the Lord gives us a chance to learn slowly."

Most changes in our lives are gradual. An inch of growth may take a child half a year. It can take several years to learn to speak a new language or play a musical instrument. Two people can be married in a day, but the actual marriage of minds takes decades to accomplish.

Changes in our spiritual life are also gradual. They take place one step at a time, and spiritual growth will be easier if we know that it does not take place in a moment. It is an ongoing process. Jesus said,

"Unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3)

Many passages in the Bible indicate that being born again spiritually will be just as much a step by step process as physical conception, gestation, birth, growth, and development. For example, Peter describes it in seven distinct steps:

"Add to your faith, virtue, and to virtue, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, and to self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness, to godliness, brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness, love." Only by completing this process can we be sure to enter the Kingdom of God. (2 Peter 1:5)

One reason why being born again must be a gradual process is that it involves a complete change of character. Paul describes it this way:

"If any one be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:5)

Rebirth involves new knowledge, new habits, new activities, new loves, and new awareness of the Lord.

New Knowledge

Rebirth does not take place through a blind leap of faith, but through gradual education, study and enlightenment. Jesus said,

"If you continue in My Word, ...the truth shall make you free." (John 15:3)

Truth is the tool of change, the means to a new life. Jesus said,

"Now you are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you." (John 15:3)

Instead of accepting dogmas without question we must make sense of the truth in order to be reborn. Being "childlike" does not mean being childish in our beliefs.

"In malice be children, but in understanding be adults." (1 Corinthians 14:20)

In one of His stories, Jesus describes a good person as one "who hears the Word, and understands it, and also bears fruit." (Matthew 12:23)

Most important of all is the understanding of God. If God's nature is a mystery to us, we can hardly say that we are born again, or that we are His sons. (Compare John 15:15.)

Knowing God goes hand in hand with being born from Him. (1 John 4:7)

"The pure in heart shall see God." (Matthew 5:8)

When we are born again, God "shines in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the Glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." (2 Corinthians 4:6)

New Habits

Anyone who is in the habit of doing or thinking evil things is living the "old" life, and is incapable of the genuine goodness of the person who has overcome them.

"Can the leopard change its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil." (Jeremiah 13:23)

"He who commits sin is the servant of sin." (John 8:34)

Receiving the new life requires fighting against the old habits.

"Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die? ...Turn and live!" (Ezekiel 18:21, 31-32.)

"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean, put away the evil of your doing from My eyes! Cease to do evil, learn to do good." (Isaiah 1:16.)

This kind of repentance cannot take place merely by praying for forgiveness. It requires a struggle, an ongoing battle to overcome the old ways of life. Paul called this a struggle between the "flesh" and the "spirit." (Galatians 4:29, Romans 8:7.)

It is a battle that requires our greatest effort -- "all your heart and all your soul and all your might." (Deuteronomy 6:4)

Eventually, through constant effort, God gives us such power over our habits that we no longer would think of doing something evil. When this time finally comes, we can be called "born again."

"Whoever is born of God does not commit sin.... He cannot sin, because he is born of God." (1 John 3:9)

"Whatever is born of God overcomes the world.... We know that whoever is born of God does not sin, but he who is born of God keeps himself and the wicked one does not touch him." (1 John 5:4, 18)

New Activities

Along with new habits come new activities. A person who neglects to be useful cannot be born again, and cannot go to heaven. Jesus indicated that some Christians would not be saved because they lacked good works.

"Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, ' shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in the heavens." (Matthew 7:21)

In one of His parables, Jesus told of some people who would go into everlasting punishment, not because they had lacked faith, but because they had failed to help people who were in need. (Matthew 25:41-46)

After death, the Lord "renders unto everyone according to his deeds." (Matthew 16:27)

A person who is born again is concerned for others, and orients his life around the work he can do to help others.

"Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead... A person is justified by works, and not by faith alone." (James 2:17, 24)

To be born again, you must "bring forth fruits worthy of repentance." (Luke 3:8) Service and usefulness are marks of the new life.

New Loves

Even more than faith and more than works, the power that causes a person to be born again is love. Peter tells us that we are reborn by means of loving and for the purpose of loving others.

"Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, being born again...by the word of God." (1 Peter 1:22, 23)

John also makes it very clear that only those who love others can receive the new life:

"We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death." (1 John 3:14)

"Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love, does not know God, for God is love." (1 John 4:7-8)

New Awareness of the Lord

We must take it upon ourselves to have faith, to fight the evil impulses within ourselves, to serve others, and to love others if we wish to be born again. Yet in all these things we need also to realize that it is the Lord who is working within us.

"You have also done all our works in us." (Isaiah 26:12)

"There are many forms of work, but all of them, in all people, are the work of the same God." (1 Corinthians 12:6)

In the process of rebirth we come to realize that it is the Lord working within us that enables us to work, believe, struggle, and love. These abilities are His merciful gift. He says,

"I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit within you...and cause you to walk in my statutes." (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

Patience

In order to be reborn we must renew our knowledge, habits, actions, loves and relationship with the Lord. All this takes time, even a lifetime. Just as childbirth and growth require patience and endurance, so does being born again.

"In your patience you will possess your souls." (Luke 21:19)

"Whoever endures to the end shall be saved." (Matthew 10:22)

God will give eternal life to those who seek it "by patient continuance in doing good." (Romans 2:7)

We cannot expect to be born again in a single moment. Again and again, the Bible advises steadfastness and endurance if we wish to gain the promise of heaven.

"It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." (Lamentations 3:26, 27)

For although it takes time, if we do our part, the Lord will certainly make it happen.

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." (Psalms 37:5, 7)

109. To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, signifies that he who receives in the heart shall be filled with the good of love and with heavenly joy therefrom. This is evident from the signification of "overcoming," as being to receive in the heart (of which in what follows); also from the signification of "eating," as being to be appropriated and to be conjoined (See Arcana Coelestia 2187, 2343, 3168, 3813, 5643); and from the signification of "the tree of life," as being the good of love and heavenly joy therefrom (of which also in what follows). "To overcome" is to receive in the heart, because everyone who is to receive spiritual life must fight against evils and falsities which belong to his natural life; and when he overcomes these he receives in the heart the goods and truths which belong to the spiritual life. To receive in the heart is to receive in the will and love, for "heart" in the Word signifies the will and love (See Arcana Coelestia 2930, 3313, 7542, 8910, 9050, 9113, 10336). To receive in the heart, then, is to do these from the will or love; this is what is meant by "overcoming."

[2] "The tree of life" signifies the good of love and heavenly joy therefrom, because "trees" signify such things as are with man in his interiors, which are of his mind [mens] or disposition [animus]; "boughs" and "leaves" signifying those things that are of the knowledges of truth and good, and "fruits" the goods of life themselves. This signification of trees draws its origin from the spiritual world; for in that world trees of every kind are seen, and the trees that are seen correspond to the interiors of the angels and spirits which are of their mind; the most beautiful and fruitful trees to the interiors of those who are in the good of love and thence in wisdom; trees less beautiful and fruitful to those who are in the good of faith; but trees bearing leaves only, and without fruits, to those who are only in the knowledges of truth; and horrible trees, with noxious fruits, to those who are in knowledges and in evil of life. To those, however, who are not in knowledges, and who are in evil of life, no trees appear, but stones and sands instead. These appearances in the spiritual world really flow from correspondence, for the interiors of the minds of those there are by such effigies presented actually before their eyes. (These things may be better seen from two chapters in the work on Heaven and Hell; first, where the Correspondence of Heaven with all things of Earth is treated of, n. 103-115; and the other, where Representatives and Appearances in Heaven are treated of, n. 170-176, and in what follows there, n 177-190.)

[3] It is from this that "trees" are so often mentioned in the Word, and by them are signified the things with men that belong to their minds; and from this it is also that in the first chapters of Genesis: two trees are said to have been placed in the garden of Eden, one called "the tree of life," and the other "the tree of knowledge." "The tree of life" there signifies the good of love to the Lord, and heavenly joy therefrom, which were with those who were then of the church, and who are meant by the "man" and his "wife;" and by "the tree of knowledge" is signified the delight of knowledges apart from any other use than to be accounted learned and to acquire repute for erudition solely for the sake of honor or gain. "The tree of life" also signifies heavenly joy, because the good of love to the Lord, which is specifically signified by that tree, has heavenly joy in it (See in the work on Heaven and Hell 395-414, and in The Doctrine of the New Jerusalem 230-239).

[4] That "trees," which are so often mentioned in the Word, signify the interiors of man which belong to his mind and disposition, and the things that are on trees, as leaves and fruit, signify such things as are from these interiors, can be seen from the following passages:

I will give in the desert the cedar, the shittah tree, ¹ and the myrtle, and the oil tree; I will set in the wilderness the fir tree, the pine, and the box tree (Isaiah 41:19).

The establishment of the church is there treated of:

The glory of Lebanon shall come unto thee, the fir tree, the pine, and the box tree together, to deck the place of My sanctuary (Isaiah 60:13).

All the trees of the field shall know that I, Jehovah, humble the high tree, exalt the low tree, dry up the green tree, and make the dry tree to bud (Ezekiel 17:24).

Behold, I will kindle a fire in thee, and it shall devour the green tree in thee, and every dry tree (Ezekiel 20:47).

The vine is withered, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, all the trees of the field are withered: joy is withered away from the sons of men (Joel 1:12).

When the angel sounded, there followed hail and fire, which fell upon the earth; and the third part of the trees was burnt up (Revelation 8:7).

Beltshasar ² saw in a dream a tree in the midst of the earth, and the height thereof was great. The leaves thereof were fair, and the flowers many, and in it was food for all (Daniel 4:10-12).

(Because "trees" in general signify such things as are with man and constitute the interiors of his mind, and so also the spiritual things that are of the church; and because both are of various kinds, therefore there are so many kinds of trees mentioned, each signifying something different. What the various kinds signify is shown in the Arcana Coelestia, as what is signified by the "oil tree," n. Arcana Coelestia 9277, 10261; what by the "cedar," n. 9472, 9486, 9528, 9715, 10178; what by the "vine," n. 1069, 5113, 6375, 6378, 9277; what by the "fig," n. 217, 4231, 5113, etc.)

[5] Moreover, the things that are on trees, as leaves and fruit, signify such things as are with man; "leaves," the truths with him, and "fruits," the goods, as in the following passages:

He shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and shall spread out his roots by the river; his leaf shall be green; neither shall he cease from yielding fruit (Jeremiah 17:8).

By the river flowing out from the house of God, upon the bank on this side and on that, ascendeth the tree of food, whose leaf falleth not off, nor is its fruit consumed; it is renewed in its months, because its waters issue out of the sanctuary, whence its fruit is for food, and its leaf for medicine (Ezekiel 47:12).

In the midst of the street and of the river (flowing out from the throne of God and of the Lamb), on this side and on that, was the tree of life, bearing twelve fruits, yielding its fruit every month, and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations (Revelation 22:1, 2).

Blessed is the man whose delight is in the law; he shall be like a tree planted by the streams of waters, that bringeth forth its fruit in its time, whose leaf also doth not wither (Psalms 1:3).

Be not afraid, for the tree shall bear fruit, the fig tree and the vine shall yield their strength (Joel 2:22).

The trees of Jehovah are satisfied, the cedars of Lebanon which He hath planted (Psalms 104:16).

Praise Jehovah, ye fruit trees, and all cedars (Psalms 148:7, 9).

[6] Because "fruits" signified the goods of life with man, therefore it was commanded in the Israelitish church, which was a representative church, that the fruits of trees, like men themselves, should be circumcised, concerning which it is thus written:

The fruit of the tree serving for food in the land of Canaan shall be uncircumcised; three years shall they be uncircumcised. But in the fourth year all the fruit thereof shall be holy, praises to Jehovah. And in the fifth year shall ye eat [of the fruit thereof] (Leviticus 19:23-25).

Because the "fruits of the tree" signified the goods of life, it was also commanded:

That in the feast of tabernacles they should take the fruits of the tree of honor, and the boughs, and be glad before Jehovah, and thus should keep the feast (Leviticus 23:40, 41).

For by "tabernacles" were signified the goods of heavenly love, and holy worship therefrom (See Arcana Coelestia 414, 1102, 2145, 2152, 3312, 4391, 10545); and by the "feast of tabernacles" was signified the implantation of that good or love (n. 9296). Because "fruits" signified the goods of love which are goods of life:

It was amongst the blessings that the tree of the field should give its fruit, and among the curses that it should not bear fruit (Leviticus 26:4, 20).

So also it was a command that when any city was besieged:

They should not lay the axe to any tree of good fruit (Deuteronomy 20:19, 20).

From all this it can be seen that "fruits" signify the goods of love, or what is the same, the goods of life, which are also called "works," as likewise in these passages in the Evangelists:

The axe lieth unto the root of the tree; every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit shall be hewn down and cast into the fire (Matthew 3:10; 7:16-21).

Either make the tree good and the fruit good, or else make the tree corrupt and the fruit corrupt; for the tree is known by its fruit (Matthew 12:33; Luke 6:43, 44).

Every branch that beareth not fruit shall be taken away; but every branch that beareth fruit shall be pruned, that it may bring forth more fruit (John 15:2-8).

A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came seeking fruit thereon, but found none. And he saith unto the vine dresser, Behold, for three years I come seeking fruit from the fig tree, and find none; cut it down; why should it make the ground unfruitful? (Luke 13:6-9).

Jesus saw a fig tree by the way; He came to it, and found nothing thereon but leaves only; and He said, Nevermore from thee shall there be fruit. And immediately the fig tree withered away (Matthew 21:19; Mark 11:13, 14, 20).

The "fig tree" signifies the natural man and its interiors, and "fruits" signify his goods (Arcana Coelestia 217, 4231, 5113); but "leaves" signify knowledges (Arcana Coelestia 885). From this it is clear what is signified by the fig tree's withering away because the Lord found on it leaves only and no fruit. All these passages are cited that it may be known what is signified by the "tree of life in the midst of the paradise of God," namely, the good of love proceeding from the Lord, and heavenly joy therefrom.

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