I was talking recently with someone who was looking forward to becoming a father. He asked me, "Is it hard to learn how to be a good father? How did you deal with that change in your life?"

"One of the nice things about becoming a father," I said, "is that it happened one step at a time. First we got engaged, and then some time later we got married. During that time, talking about parenting helped prepare me mentally. A few months after our marriage, my wife became pregnant, and then we still had nine months before our child was actually born."

"Of course, having a new baby was a big change, but still there were many parenting tasks that came later. For example, discipline wasn't an issue for the first year, and it was two years before we had to help our son learn to get along with his new baby sister. Being a good father all at once would be impossible, but the Lord gives us a chance to learn slowly."

Most changes in our lives are gradual. An inch of growth may take a child half a year. It can take several years to learn to speak a new language or play a musical instrument. Two people can be married in a day, but the actual marriage of minds takes decades to accomplish.

Changes in our spiritual life are also gradual. They take place one step at a time, and spiritual growth will be easier if we know that it does not take place in a moment. It is an ongoing process. Jesus said,

"Unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3)

Many passages in the Bible indicate that being born again spiritually will be just as much a step by step process as physical conception, gestation, birth, growth, and development. For example, Peter describes it in seven distinct steps:

"Add to your faith, virtue, and to virtue, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, and to self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness, to godliness, brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness, love." Only by completing this process can we be sure to enter the Kingdom of God. (2 Peter 1:5)

One reason why being born again must be a gradual process is that it involves a complete change of character. Paul describes it this way:

"If any one be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:5)

Rebirth involves new knowledge, new habits, new activities, new loves, and new awareness of the Lord.

New Knowledge

Rebirth does not take place through a blind leap of faith, but through gradual education, study and enlightenment. Jesus said,

"If you continue in My Word, ...the truth shall make you free." (John 15:3)

Truth is the tool of change, the means to a new life. Jesus said,

"Now you are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you." (John 15:3)

Instead of accepting dogmas without question we must make sense of the truth in order to be reborn. Being "childlike" does not mean being childish in our beliefs.

"In malice be children, but in understanding be adults." (1 Corinthians 14:20)

In one of His stories, Jesus describes a good person as one "who hears the Word, and understands it, and also bears fruit." (Matthew 12:23)

Most important of all is the understanding of God. If God's nature is a mystery to us, we can hardly say that we are born again, or that we are His sons. (Compare John 15:15.)

Knowing God goes hand in hand with being born from Him. (1 John 4:7)

"The pure in heart shall see God." (Matthew 5:8)

When we are born again, God "shines in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the Glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." (2 Corinthians 4:6)

New Habits

Anyone who is in the habit of doing or thinking evil things is living the "old" life, and is incapable of the genuine goodness of the person who has overcome them.

"Can the leopard change its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil." (Jeremiah 13:23)

"He who commits sin is the servant of sin." (John 8:34)

Receiving the new life requires fighting against the old habits.

"Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die? ...Turn and live!" (Ezekiel 18:21, 31-32.)

"Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean, put away the evil of your doing from My eyes! Cease to do evil, learn to do good." (Isaiah 1:16.)

This kind of repentance cannot take place merely by praying for forgiveness. It requires a struggle, an ongoing battle to overcome the old ways of life. Paul called this a struggle between the "flesh" and the "spirit." (Galatians 4:29, Romans 8:7.)

It is a battle that requires our greatest effort -- "all your heart and all your soul and all your might." (Deuteronomy 6:4)

Eventually, through constant effort, God gives us such power over our habits that we no longer would think of doing something evil. When this time finally comes, we can be called "born again."

"Whoever is born of God does not commit sin.... He cannot sin, because he is born of God." (1 John 3:9)

"Whatever is born of God overcomes the world.... We know that whoever is born of God does not sin, but he who is born of God keeps himself and the wicked one does not touch him." (1 John 5:4, 18)

New Activities

Along with new habits come new activities. A person who neglects to be useful cannot be born again, and cannot go to heaven. Jesus indicated that some Christians would not be saved because they lacked good works.

"Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, ' shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in the heavens." (Matthew 7:21)

In one of His parables, Jesus told of some people who would go into everlasting punishment, not because they had lacked faith, but because they had failed to help people who were in need. (Matthew 25:41-46)

After death, the Lord "renders unto everyone according to his deeds." (Matthew 16:27)

A person who is born again is concerned for others, and orients his life around the work he can do to help others.

"Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead... A person is justified by works, and not by faith alone." (James 2:17, 24)

To be born again, you must "bring forth fruits worthy of repentance." (Luke 3:8) Service and usefulness are marks of the new life.

New Loves

Even more than faith and more than works, the power that causes a person to be born again is love. Peter tells us that we are reborn by means of loving and for the purpose of loving others.

"Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, being born again...by the word of God." (1 Peter 1:22, 23)

John also makes it very clear that only those who love others can receive the new life:

"We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death." (1 John 3:14)

"Everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love, does not know God, for God is love." (1 John 4:7-8)

New Awareness of the Lord

We must take it upon ourselves to have faith, to fight the evil impulses within ourselves, to serve others, and to love others if we wish to be born again. Yet in all these things we need also to realize that it is the Lord who is working within us.

"You have also done all our works in us." (Isaiah 26:12)

"There are many forms of work, but all of them, in all people, are the work of the same God." (1 Corinthians 12:6)

In the process of rebirth we come to realize that it is the Lord working within us that enables us to work, believe, struggle, and love. These abilities are His merciful gift. He says,

"I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit within you...and cause you to walk in my statutes." (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

Patience

In order to be reborn we must renew our knowledge, habits, actions, loves and relationship with the Lord. All this takes time, even a lifetime. Just as childbirth and growth require patience and endurance, so does being born again.

"In your patience you will possess your souls." (Luke 21:19)

"Whoever endures to the end shall be saved." (Matthew 10:22)

God will give eternal life to those who seek it "by patient continuance in doing good." (Romans 2:7)

We cannot expect to be born again in a single moment. Again and again, the Bible advises steadfastness and endurance if we wish to gain the promise of heaven.

"It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." (Lamentations 3:26, 27)

For although it takes time, if we do our part, the Lord will certainly make it happen.

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." (Psalms 37:5, 7)

3540. 'And she put the skins of the kids of the she-goats' means the external truths clothing homeborn good. This is clear from the meaning of 'skins' as external things, dealt with below, and from the meaning of 'the kids of the she-goats', coming as they did from the flock bred within the homestead, as the truths which clothe homeborn good, dealt with in 3518, 3519, where it is also evident what homeborn good is and what truths from that source are. Any good whatever has its own truths, and any truths whatever have their own good. And they must be joined together - good to truths - if anything at all is to exist. The reason why 'skins' means external things is that the skin is the outer covering of an animal to which its exterior parts extend, even as the skin or the cuticles is such with a human being. The latter receives its spiritual meaning from what is representative in the next life, where there are people who belong to the province of the skin. These will in the Lord's Divine mercy be described at the ends of chapters below where the Grand Man will be presented as a separate subject. They are people in whom none but external good and the truths which go with this are present. This is why the skin, human or animal, means things that are external. The same is also evident from the Word, as in Jeremiah,

On account of the greatness of your iniquity your skirts have been uncovered, your heels have suffered violence. Can the Ethiopian change his skin and the leopard its spots? Also are you able to do good, having been taught to do evil? Jeremiah 13:22-23.

Here 'skirts' means external truths, 'heels' the lowest goods - 'the heel' and 'shoes' being the lowest natural things, see 259, 1748. And because those truths and goods, as it is said, spring from evil, they are compared to an 'Ethiopian', who was black, and his 'skin', and also to 'a leopard and its spots'.

[2] In Moses,

If you take your neighbour's clothing as a pledge you shall restore it to him before the sun goes down; for this is his only covering; it is his clothing for his skin, in which he will lie down. Exodus 22:26-27.

Inasmuch as all the laws contained in the Word, including civil and judicial ones, have a correspondence with laws in heaven concerning what is good and true, and from this correspondence came to be laid down, so it was with the law just quoted. For why else would it have ever been laid down that they were to restore clothing that had been pledged before the sun went down, and why else is it said that 'it is his clothing for his skin, in which he lies down'? The correspondence is evident from the internal sense, which is that people were not to cheat their neighbour of external truths, which are the matters of doctrine by which they conduct their lives, and also religious observances - 'clothing' meaning such truths, see 297, 1073, 2576, and 'the sun' the good of love or of life that ensues from those truths, 1529, 1530, 2441, 2495. The prevention of that good from perishing is meant by the statement about the restoration of the pledge before the sun went down. And since the things laid down in those laws are the external coverings of interior things, or the outermost aspects of these, the words 'his clothing for his skin in which he lies down' are used.

[3] Because 'skins' meant external things it was commanded that there should be for the tent a covering made of red ram skins and over that a covering of badger skins, Exodus 26:14. For the tent was representative of the three heavens, and so of the celestial and spiritual things of the Lord's kingdom. The curtains enveloping it represented natural things, which are external, 3478; and these are the ram skins and the badger skins. And since external things are those which cover internal, or natural things are those which cover spiritual and celestial, in the way that the body does the soul, that command was therefore given. It was for a like reason commanded that when the camp was on the move Aaron and his sons were to cover the ark of the testimony with the veil and were to place a badger-skin covering over it. And over the table and what was on it they were to spread a twice-dyed scarlet cloth and then cover that with a badger-skin covering. They were likewise required to place the lampstand and all its vessels under a covering made of badger skin - also all the vessels for ministering they were to place under a violet cloth, and then cover them with a badger-skin covering, Numbers 4:5-6, 8, 10-12. Anyone who thinks about the Word in a devout way may see that Divine things were represented by all these objects, such as the ark, the table, the lampstand, and the vessels for ministering, also the coverings of twice-dyed scarlet and of violet, as well as the coverings of badger skin, and that these objects represented Divine things contained within external ones.

[4] Because the prophets represented those who teach, and therefore represented teaching from the Word concerning what is good and true, 2534; and because Elijah represented the Word itself, 2762, as also did John, who for that reason is called the Elijah who is to come, Matthew 17:10-13; and in order that these might represent the nature of the Word in its external form, that is, in the letter,

Elijah wore a skin girdle around his loins. 2 Kings 1:8. And John had a garment of camel hair and a skin girdle around his waist. Matthew 3:4.

Because animal 'skin' and human 'skin' means external things, which in relation to spiritual and celestial are natural things, and because it was customary in the Ancient Church to speak and to write by means of meaningful signs, reference is also made to both types of skin, and with the same meaning, in Job, a book of the Ancient Church. This becomes clear from a number of places in that book, including the following,

I know my Redeemer; He is alive; and at the last He will rise above the dust; and afterwards these things will be encompassed by my skin, and out of my flesh shall I see God. Job 19:25-26.

'Encompassed by skin' stands for the natural as it exists with someone after he has died, dealt with in 3539. 'Out of one's flesh seeing God' is doing so from a proprium made alive. For the proprium is meant by 'flesh', see 148, 149, 780; and the Book of Job is a book of the Ancient Church, a fact which is evident, as has been stated, from its style which draws on representatives and meaningful signs. It is not however one of the books called the Law and the Prophets, the reason being that it has no internal sense in which the one subject is the Lord and His kingdom. For it is this alone that determines whether any book is a Book of the true Word.