The Betrothal

A Christmas Doctrinal Class by Rev. Andrew M.T. Dibb

Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary. (Luke 1:26-27)

So begins the wonderful story of the Lord's conception in the Gospel of Luke. The scene is familiar to each of us: Mary is at home, when suddenly she sees the angel Gabriel and hears his words of great joy:

"Rejoice, highly favoured one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!" (Luke 1:28)

An angel is a messenger of the Lord. In the Word angels came to bring wisdom and comfort, hope and the good news, the “euangellion” or Gospel, to those to whom the Lord wanted His presence revealed. This Gospel is the teaching that the Lord Jesus Christ was born into this world, that He made it possible for all people to be saved and brought into His kingdom. Thus the angel Gabriel came in excitement to Mary to inform her that she was the Lord’s choice as His natural mother.

When Mary saw the angel Gabriel, she didn't know that he was the human form of an entire society of angels. Nor did she know that his greatest love is to tell people about the Lord, especially that He would be born into the world to save the human race from spiritual bondage.

The scene of the angel Gabriel announcing to Mary that she would conceive and bear a son, and call His name Jesus, is one of the most poignant in the Word. Mary was a simple person, living in Galilee far away from the centre of worship at Jerusalem. She was neither highly educated nor socially well connected, except that she descended from Israel’s greatest king, David. There is a beautiful innocence in Mary’s simplicity. The last thing she expected in life was to see an angel. The image we have of Mary is of a demure young maiden, a virgin in every sense, for, as she said to the angel, 'I do not know a man'. Her state of life was that of a young woman about to embark on her married life to Joseph, but still living at home with her parents. The marriage had not yet been celebrated.

It is central to the Christmas story that Mary was betrothed to Joseph when the angel Gabriel appeared to her. This fact is mentioned in the lesson we read in the Gospel of Luke, where it is plainly stated that she was a 'virgin betrothed'. In Matthew we are again told that Mary was 'betrothed to Joseph'. This means that she had been promised as a wife to Joseph. In our culture, we would say that they were engaged to be married.

There are several good reasons why Mary should have been in this state when she conceived the Lord:

- In the Jewish Church of that time betrothal was considered marriage, although the marriage had not yet been consummated. This meant that the people around her considered Mary a woman, and it also meant that her mind was focusing on the upcoming marriage and future life as a wife and a mother.

- She was expected, during this period of betrothal, to remain in a state of order. She was not free to come into romantic contact with any other man, and she certainly was not permitted to have sexual intercourse with any man, including her husband to be.

The angel appeared to her in this state precisely for that reason - the child who was to be conceived needed to be conceived in a state of virginity, and there could be no question down the ages that Jesus was the son of an ordinary man. This is why Mary protested that she could not conceive because she 'had not known a man'.

There is a very good reason for this: the doctrines tell us that the human soul is transmitted as the living principle of the masculine seed. That soul, or internal human is passed from father to child, is an image of the father's own soul - although the life in it is from the Divine Itself. When a child is conceived, that human soul can receive life from the Lord, and, using the life in it, begins to draw from the mother the various substances needed to form the human body. When the child is born, he or she becomes an individual, drawing life from the Lord, and potential spiritual things from both mother and father, and the body from the mother. Thus there is a complete mixing of parents in the birth of a child.

When the angel Gabriel came to Mary, he announced the birth of the Lord. It was to be a miracle of all miracles, for according to prophecy a virgin would conceive and bear a son. He was conceived of the Holy Spirit. His soul was Divine, given to Him by the Father, or, put another way, the soul within Jesus was not limited and finite as our souls are, but infinite and eternal, and capable of overcoming the powers of hell and saving the human race.

Here's an excerpt from Swedenborg's work, Arcana Coelestia 1999: "But the Lord's Internal was Jehovah Himself, since He was conceived from Jehovah, who cannot be divided or become the relative of another, like a son who has been conceived from a human father. For unlike the human, the Divine is not capable of being divided but is and remains one and the same. To this Internal the Lord united the Human Essence. Moreover because the Lord's Internal was Jehovah it was not, like man's internal, a recipient form of life, but life itself. Through that union His Human Essence as well became life itself. Hence the Lord's frequent declaration that He is Life, as in John,

As the Father has Life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have Life in Himself. John 5:26."

Yet even a soul such as that, if it is to live and walk amongst the people of this earth, must be clothed in a body. The Lord always operates within the boundaries of the order of creation - and order dictates that a soul must be clothed with a material body.

At first the father’s soul is clothed with human elements, for it begins as a reproduction of the father’s own soul, then,

"during its descent, … the soul is enveloped by elements of a type that have to do with the father's natural love. This is the source from which hereditary evil springs." (Conjugial Love 245)

And so the Lord needed an orderly environment in which to be born. Mary was chosen as His mother because, according to the Lord's all-seeing wisdom, He saw that she would be willing to carry this child, and she would be able to nurture Him in such a way that He would grow up prepared for the great work ahead of Him.

Yet Mary had to be in a state of order herself. In ancient Israel, to bear a child meant that she had to be married, and yet to preserve the honesty of the conception and ensure that the soul was Divine, not human, she had to be in the state before actual physical union with Joseph had taken place - otherwise the Lord could have been Joseph's son. So she had to be betrothed, and no motive should be found as a basis for accusations against the Virgin Birth.

It was partly for this reason that when Joseph heard that she was carrying a child he decided to put her away. Effectively this meant he planned to divorce her. According to the law of Moses, a betrothed woman carrying a child had broken the rules. Ideally speaking, the man responsible should be put to death. Joseph had no idea who the man was, but assumed that there was one. He was, however, a kind man, and so decided not 'to make her a public example', but to put her away privately.

It was at this juncture that the angel Gabriel came to Joseph in a dream, and soothed his fears. 'The child she is carrying,' the angel said, 'is conceived by the Holy Spirit.' Now Joseph understood, and the state of betrothal could continue, and order could be maintained so that the Lord could be born into this world with the full appearance of two loving parents, bound together in marriage after an orderly betrothal.

We now need to expand our vision of the Lord's life in this world. The conception of the Lord was but the first step in his development. He had to be born and grow up. His mind and body had to develop as does our own. The home of Mary and Joseph was needed to provide a stable and orderly environment for Him where He could live and grow, undergoing not only physical and mental development, but also the very processes by which His Divine soul could become present within His natural mind.

In picking these two people to be his 'parents' in the natural world, the Lord was able to provide for the future as well. The Word does not tell us anything about the marriage relationship between Joseph and Mary. We know that Joseph was obedient to the angel when he was told to take Mary and the infant Lord down to Egypt to escape Herod's cruelty. We know that each year they travelled to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. We know that had other children, whom likewise they loved and nurtured. But that is about all we know.

The book, Conjugial Love, by Emanuel Swedenborg, however, gives us some insights into the kind of orderly relationship they had. They begin in the concept of Betrothal, for betrothal is introductory to marriage. The kinds of preparation people make for their marriages determine a great deal the course their marriage will follow. The fact that Mary in her betrothed state had 'not known a man' indicates that she took the responsibilities of that state serious. Similarly, the fact that Joseph immediately knew that he was not the father of the child Mary carried indicates a similar seriousness about the state of betrothal. They were both innocent of any wrongdoing, and were obviously committed to building a life together based on the firm foundation of proper preparation.

Their betrothal prepared them for their future life together as man and wife, and, thus as the Lord's parents on earth. Betrothal is a preparation for marriage. It is a time when the minds and spirits of the two partners begin to grow together.

The teachings of the New Church tell us that true marriage, or conjugial love as it is often called, is a meeting and union of two minds. A true marriage is one in which the couple recognises the essential differences between masculinity and femininity, and rejoices in those differences without any attempt to dominate the other. In order for a couple to come into a true appreciation of each other, they need to put aside physical love to foster and nurture spiritual love. This is why Mary and Joseph lived apart during this stage of their relationship, and why they refrained from sexual activity, for in that way they made it possible for their minds to soar, and be united at the highest levels of idealism.

The book Conjugial Love tells us that in this state the mind of each partner is opened by his or her spiritual love. They are able to reach higher levels of love and commitment to each other as they foster the growth of mutual understanding unencumbered by physical things. The passage describing this development, then, goes on to describe how when a couple marry their love descends from the mind to the body. It is worth reflecting on the statement that

"It needs to be known that the quality of conjugial love as it comes down is determined by the height to which it climbs. If it reaches the heights it comes down chaste, but if it does not, it comes down as unchaste." (Conjugial Love 302).

With Mary and Joseph we can but only assume that their love reached its heights during their betrothal, and that their marriage was one of purity and chastity. Chastity in this sense means a marriage love between two people that has been cleansed of all impurities. In such a state the husband and wife enjoy the full pleasures of marriage, beginning on the spiritual level with a full meeting of minds, and descends into the body, where their love is consummated.

A marriage of this kind provides the most wonderful environment, for the love between the husband and wife provides a state of tranquillity and peace in which children can be reared. This is the kind of environment the Lord chose to be born into. He knew that during his life in this world He would have to face the most terrible of temptations. He knew that He would have to battle against hell continuously, and face the disbelief of the people around Him. His first thirty-three years were a preparation for this work lying before Him. And so He chose to be born to a couple who were in a state of order, who because of that order, were willing to receive Him into their lives, to nurture Him as if He was their own.

There is a message in this for us. Each one of us wants the Lord to be born into our own lives, and He is willing to come to us. "Behold,' He says, 'I stand at the door and knock'. Yet He can only enter into us to the degree that we bring our lives into order. Mary and Joseph clung to their betrothal - they committed themselves and stood fast. That is what the Lord wants us to do: to commit ourselves to Him, to live according to His Word in every detail of our lives, especially in our relationships with others, in our preparation for marriage, and in our marriages themselves. As we do, then He enters into us, establishes His presence there, and lifts us up to heaven.

AMEN

Lessons:

Deuteronomy 22:25-29

Isaiah 7:14-16

Luke 1:26-38

Conjugial Love 302

59. V. BEFORE THIS STATE, AND AFTER IT, PROMISE WAS MADE OF THE COMING OF THE LORD JEHOVIH INTO THE WORLD, AND OF A NEW CHURCH AT THAT TIME, WHEREIN JUSTICE AND JUDGMENT SHOULD REIGN. It is known, from the reading of the prophetic Word of the Old Testament, that, in many places there, the Coming of our Lord is foretold, and also that the Lord is there designated by various names; as, that He is called "Jehovah Zebaoth," "Jehovah our Righteousness," "Jehovah our Saviour and Redeemer," "Lord Jehovih," "Adonai," "Immanuel" or "God with us," "God of Israel," "Holy One of Israel," "Rock of Israel," "Messiah" or "Anointed of Jehovah," "King," "David," "Mighty One of Jacob," "Shepherd of Israel," "High Priest," "Priest after the order of Melchizedech," "Son of God," "Son of Man," "Angel of Jehovah," "Angel of the Covenant," the "Grand Prophet," "Shiloh"; also, in Isaiah, "Counsellor," "Prince of Peace," "Father of Eternity"; and in the New Covenant, "Jesus Christ," and "Son of God." That our Lord's Coming was foretold in very many places in the Prophets, will be seen from the predictions adduced in the following pages. But it may be asked,

Why was such frequent prediction of His Coming made? There were many reasons, some regarding the Israelitish and Jewish people, and some regarding the Christian people after them.

[2] But we will recount the reasons which especially regarded the Israelitish and Jewish people. The First was that, by His being named and recalled to mind, they might be kept in the interior worship of Jehovah, since, without that, there was no entrance of Jehovah to any one of them, nor approach of any one of them to Jehovah. The case was then as it is at this day,

that no one hath seen God the Father; the Only Begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, He hath set Him forth (John 1:18; 5:37);

and again:

No one cometh to the Father, but by Me (John 14:6).

The Second reason regarding that people was, that the representative types of their Church, which all looked to our Lord and to the Church to be established by Him after His Coming, might serve them as so many signs and symbols of their worship; consequently, that they might acknowledge Him when He came, and suffer themselves to be introduced into the internals of the worship of Him, and, together with the nations that surrounded them, become Christians. The Third reason was that, by calling to mind His Coming, somewhat of the notion, or idea, of the resurrection and eternal life might find entrance into their thoughts. For who of them could not have thought interiorly in himself, or in his heart, "What is the Messiah to us after we are dead, unless we return then, see His glory and reign with Him?" From this source was derived their superstition, that, at that time, they were to be raised again, everyone out of his grave, and return to the land of Canaan. The Fourth reason was that they might be succoured and healed in their state of vastation and oppression, when they were in temptations and afflictions, like their fathers and brethren in the wilderness (Num. 21:1-9; John 3:14-15); for, without such succour and healing, they would have cast aspersions against Jehovah, and departed, in crowds, from the representative worship of Him to idolatry.

[3] Indeed, temptations and afflictions, in the state of vastation and oppression, are nothing else than combats of the Lord with the Devil respecting man, that is, respecting his soul, which is to possess it; of which state it may be said, that the God of Israel, or the Lord the Messiah, stands on one side, and Beelzebub and the Serpent, the Devil, on the other, and that the latter casts forth out of his mouth blasphemies like a flood against the Lord, but that the Lord turns them aside and bears them away, and thus delivers man from spiritual captivity and slavery. This combat is felt in man as if waged by himself. That temptation is such a combat, and that there is such a perception by man, and hence co-operation, I can avow, for, having often experienced it, I have known it perfectly. That it is carried on outside man, and is felt in him as if by himself, and that man is standing in the middle, and co-operates, is for the end that recompense may be ascribed to him when he conquers; but only that man conquers who looks to the Lord, and trusts in Him alone for help.

[4] That every one who calls upon the Lord in temptations, conquers, but that otherwise he yields, shall be illustrated by comparisons. It is like a ship hurled by storms near the rocks: unless the captain knows how to divert it from its danger, and to direct it to an outlet and thus to port, it must be lost. It is like a city besieged by enemies: unless there be escape or aid somewhere, the commander and his garrison become hopeless and disheartened, and yield themselves prisoners, and surrender their lives to the will of the enemy. It is like a person on a journey entering unawares into a cottage where there are robbers, unless, when he is shut in, a friend come and knock at the door, or show himself at the window, and thereby terrify those villains and rescue him from ill-treatment. It is like a person falling into a cave where there is a bear with cubs, or into a pit where there are a wolf and a leopard, if his father, or brother, on seeing this, do not immediately let down to him a ladder, or a rope, and draw him up thence. It is like a person who stands, or walks, in the day-time, in a thick fog, who consequently does not know which way to turn, unless he light a lamp, and thereby show himself the place where he stands or the way in which he should walk. It is like being in the depth of winter, and short of provisions, if not supported by the hope of a harvest to come, on the return of summer. So, again, it is like a person wandering at midnight in a wood, unless he comfort himself with the hope of day, and in that hope goes to lie down, and sleeps quietly till morning. It is also like one, who, for the sake of salvation, is desirous of being instructed in the things of the Christian Religion, and who meets with mitred doctors and laurelled teachers, who expound them by terms borrowed from metaphysics, and wrap them in mysteries, unless there be some other person to explain those terms, and thereby unravel the perplexities, and to set forth from the Word, thus from the Lord, the holy things of the Church, in clear light: would he not otherwise be bewildered by the falsities respecting faiths, and the other dogmas which depend on the faith laid down, just as the links of a chain hang together unbrokenly from a hook fixed to the wall?

[5] The case would be similar in temptations and the attendant infestations from satans, unless man looked trustingly to the Lord, and fully assured himself that the whole work and ability of deliverance are from Him alone. It is for these reasons that the Coming of the Lord is so frequently foretold in the Old Prophetic Word, and for the same reasons also the Lord is proclaimed in the New Evangelic and Apostolic Word, and his Second Coming foretold; concerning which see the statements following.