The Betrothal

A Christmas Doctrinal Class by Rev. Andrew M.T. Dibb

Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary. (Luke 1:26-27)

So begins the wonderful story of the Lord's conception in the Gospel of Luke. The scene is familiar to each of us: Mary is at home, when suddenly she sees the angel Gabriel and hears his words of great joy:

"Rejoice, highly favoured one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!" (Luke 1:28)

An angel is a messenger of the Lord. In the Word angels came to bring wisdom and comfort, hope and the good news, the “euangellion” or Gospel, to those to whom the Lord wanted His presence revealed. This Gospel is the teaching that the Lord Jesus Christ was born into this world, that He made it possible for all people to be saved and brought into His kingdom. Thus the angel Gabriel came in excitement to Mary to inform her that she was the Lord’s choice as His natural mother.

When Mary saw the angel Gabriel, she didn't know that he was the human form of an entire society of angels. Nor did she know that his greatest love is to tell people about the Lord, especially that He would be born into the world to save the human race from spiritual bondage.

The scene of the angel Gabriel announcing to Mary that she would conceive and bear a son, and call His name Jesus, is one of the most poignant in the Word. Mary was a simple person, living in Galilee far away from the centre of worship at Jerusalem. She was neither highly educated nor socially well connected, except that she descended from Israel’s greatest king, David. There is a beautiful innocence in Mary’s simplicity. The last thing she expected in life was to see an angel. The image we have of Mary is of a demure young maiden, a virgin in every sense, for, as she said to the angel, 'I do not know a man'. Her state of life was that of a young woman about to embark on her married life to Joseph, but still living at home with her parents. The marriage had not yet been celebrated.

It is central to the Christmas story that Mary was betrothed to Joseph when the angel Gabriel appeared to her. This fact is mentioned in the lesson we read in the Gospel of Luke, where it is plainly stated that she was a 'virgin betrothed'. In Matthew we are again told that Mary was 'betrothed to Joseph'. This means that she had been promised as a wife to Joseph. In our culture, we would say that they were engaged to be married.

There are several good reasons why Mary should have been in this state when she conceived the Lord:

- In the Jewish Church of that time betrothal was considered marriage, although the marriage had not yet been consummated. This meant that the people around her considered Mary a woman, and it also meant that her mind was focusing on the upcoming marriage and future life as a wife and a mother.

- She was expected, during this period of betrothal, to remain in a state of order. She was not free to come into romantic contact with any other man, and she certainly was not permitted to have sexual intercourse with any man, including her husband to be.

The angel appeared to her in this state precisely for that reason - the child who was to be conceived needed to be conceived in a state of virginity, and there could be no question down the ages that Jesus was the son of an ordinary man. This is why Mary protested that she could not conceive because she 'had not known a man'.

There is a very good reason for this: the doctrines tell us that the human soul is transmitted as the living principle of the masculine seed. That soul, or internal human is passed from father to child, is an image of the father's own soul - although the life in it is from the Divine Itself. When a child is conceived, that human soul can receive life from the Lord, and, using the life in it, begins to draw from the mother the various substances needed to form the human body. When the child is born, he or she becomes an individual, drawing life from the Lord, and potential spiritual things from both mother and father, and the body from the mother. Thus there is a complete mixing of parents in the birth of a child.

When the angel Gabriel came to Mary, he announced the birth of the Lord. It was to be a miracle of all miracles, for according to prophecy a virgin would conceive and bear a son. He was conceived of the Holy Spirit. His soul was Divine, given to Him by the Father, or, put another way, the soul within Jesus was not limited and finite as our souls are, but infinite and eternal, and capable of overcoming the powers of hell and saving the human race.

Here's an excerpt from Swedenborg's work, Arcana Coelestia 1999: "But the Lord's Internal was Jehovah Himself, since He was conceived from Jehovah, who cannot be divided or become the relative of another, like a son who has been conceived from a human father. For unlike the human, the Divine is not capable of being divided but is and remains one and the same. To this Internal the Lord united the Human Essence. Moreover because the Lord's Internal was Jehovah it was not, like man's internal, a recipient form of life, but life itself. Through that union His Human Essence as well became life itself. Hence the Lord's frequent declaration that He is Life, as in John,

As the Father has Life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have Life in Himself. John 5:26."

Yet even a soul such as that, if it is to live and walk amongst the people of this earth, must be clothed in a body. The Lord always operates within the boundaries of the order of creation - and order dictates that a soul must be clothed with a material body.

At first the father’s soul is clothed with human elements, for it begins as a reproduction of the father’s own soul, then,

"during its descent, … the soul is enveloped by elements of a type that have to do with the father's natural love. This is the source from which hereditary evil springs." (Conjugial Love 245)

And so the Lord needed an orderly environment in which to be born. Mary was chosen as His mother because, according to the Lord's all-seeing wisdom, He saw that she would be willing to carry this child, and she would be able to nurture Him in such a way that He would grow up prepared for the great work ahead of Him.

Yet Mary had to be in a state of order herself. In ancient Israel, to bear a child meant that she had to be married, and yet to preserve the honesty of the conception and ensure that the soul was Divine, not human, she had to be in the state before actual physical union with Joseph had taken place - otherwise the Lord could have been Joseph's son. So she had to be betrothed, and no motive should be found as a basis for accusations against the Virgin Birth.

It was partly for this reason that when Joseph heard that she was carrying a child he decided to put her away. Effectively this meant he planned to divorce her. According to the law of Moses, a betrothed woman carrying a child had broken the rules. Ideally speaking, the man responsible should be put to death. Joseph had no idea who the man was, but assumed that there was one. He was, however, a kind man, and so decided not 'to make her a public example', but to put her away privately.

It was at this juncture that the angel Gabriel came to Joseph in a dream, and soothed his fears. 'The child she is carrying,' the angel said, 'is conceived by the Holy Spirit.' Now Joseph understood, and the state of betrothal could continue, and order could be maintained so that the Lord could be born into this world with the full appearance of two loving parents, bound together in marriage after an orderly betrothal.

We now need to expand our vision of the Lord's life in this world. The conception of the Lord was but the first step in his development. He had to be born and grow up. His mind and body had to develop as does our own. The home of Mary and Joseph was needed to provide a stable and orderly environment for Him where He could live and grow, undergoing not only physical and mental development, but also the very processes by which His Divine soul could become present within His natural mind.

In picking these two people to be his 'parents' in the natural world, the Lord was able to provide for the future as well. The Word does not tell us anything about the marriage relationship between Joseph and Mary. We know that Joseph was obedient to the angel when he was told to take Mary and the infant Lord down to Egypt to escape Herod's cruelty. We know that each year they travelled to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. We know that had other children, whom likewise they loved and nurtured. But that is about all we know.

The book, Conjugial Love, by Emanuel Swedenborg, however, gives us some insights into the kind of orderly relationship they had. They begin in the concept of Betrothal, for betrothal is introductory to marriage. The kinds of preparation people make for their marriages determine a great deal the course their marriage will follow. The fact that Mary in her betrothed state had 'not known a man' indicates that she took the responsibilities of that state serious. Similarly, the fact that Joseph immediately knew that he was not the father of the child Mary carried indicates a similar seriousness about the state of betrothal. They were both innocent of any wrongdoing, and were obviously committed to building a life together based on the firm foundation of proper preparation.

Their betrothal prepared them for their future life together as man and wife, and, thus as the Lord's parents on earth. Betrothal is a preparation for marriage. It is a time when the minds and spirits of the two partners begin to grow together.

The teachings of the New Church tell us that true marriage, or conjugial love as it is often called, is a meeting and union of two minds. A true marriage is one in which the couple recognises the essential differences between masculinity and femininity, and rejoices in those differences without any attempt to dominate the other. In order for a couple to come into a true appreciation of each other, they need to put aside physical love to foster and nurture spiritual love. This is why Mary and Joseph lived apart during this stage of their relationship, and why they refrained from sexual activity, for in that way they made it possible for their minds to soar, and be united at the highest levels of idealism.

The book Conjugial Love tells us that in this state the mind of each partner is opened by his or her spiritual love. They are able to reach higher levels of love and commitment to each other as they foster the growth of mutual understanding unencumbered by physical things. The passage describing this development, then, goes on to describe how when a couple marry their love descends from the mind to the body. It is worth reflecting on the statement that

"It needs to be known that the quality of conjugial love as it comes down is determined by the height to which it climbs. If it reaches the heights it comes down chaste, but if it does not, it comes down as unchaste." (Conjugial Love 302).

With Mary and Joseph we can but only assume that their love reached its heights during their betrothal, and that their marriage was one of purity and chastity. Chastity in this sense means a marriage love between two people that has been cleansed of all impurities. In such a state the husband and wife enjoy the full pleasures of marriage, beginning on the spiritual level with a full meeting of minds, and descends into the body, where their love is consummated.

A marriage of this kind provides the most wonderful environment, for the love between the husband and wife provides a state of tranquillity and peace in which children can be reared. This is the kind of environment the Lord chose to be born into. He knew that during his life in this world He would have to face the most terrible of temptations. He knew that He would have to battle against hell continuously, and face the disbelief of the people around Him. His first thirty-three years were a preparation for this work lying before Him. And so He chose to be born to a couple who were in a state of order, who because of that order, were willing to receive Him into their lives, to nurture Him as if He was their own.

There is a message in this for us. Each one of us wants the Lord to be born into our own lives, and He is willing to come to us. "Behold,' He says, 'I stand at the door and knock'. Yet He can only enter into us to the degree that we bring our lives into order. Mary and Joseph clung to their betrothal - they committed themselves and stood fast. That is what the Lord wants us to do: to commit ourselves to Him, to live according to His Word in every detail of our lives, especially in our relationships with others, in our preparation for marriage, and in our marriages themselves. As we do, then He enters into us, establishes His presence there, and lifts us up to heaven.

AMEN

Lessons:

Deuteronomy 22:25-29

Isaiah 7:14-16

Luke 1:26-38

Conjugial Love 302

186. That thou hast a name that thou livest, and art dead. That this signifies the quality of their thought, in that they suppose themselves to be alive because they lead a moral life, when yet they are dead, is evident from the signification of name, as being quality of state (concerning which see above, n. 148); and from the signification of living, as being to have spiritual life (of which we shall speak presently), and from the signification of being dead, as being not to have that life, but only moral life without it. The reason why this is signified by being dead is, that life in the Word signifies the life of heaven in man, which also is there called life eternal, and death is called the life of hell, which life in the Word is called death, because it is a privation of the life of heaven. Here, therefore, by thou hast a name that thou livest and art dead, is signified to suppose themselves to have spiritual life, and thus to be saved, because their life is moral, when yet they are spiritually dead. But how this is to be understood is evident from what was said above (n. 182), concerning spiritual and moral life, namely, that moral life without spiritual life is the life of the love of self and of the world, but moral life from spiritual life is the life of love to the Lord and of love towards the neighbour, and that this latter life is the life of heaven, but the former life is what is called spiritual death; and this being understood, it may be known what is here meant by living and yet being dead.

[2] That to live, or to be alive, signifies spiritual life in man, and that to be dead signifies the deprivation of that life, and damnation, is evident from several passages in the Word; of which I will adduce the following. In Ezekiel:

"When I say unto the wicked, In dying ye shall die, and thou hast not admonished him, nor spoken to dissuade the wicked one from his evil way that he may be made alive, the wicked himself shall die in his iniquity. But if thou hast admonished the wicked, and he has not gone back from his wickedness and from his evil way, he shall die in his iniquity, yet hast thou delivered thy soul. Again, if thou hast admonished a righteous man that he sin no more, and he sinneth not, living he shall live, because he hath obeyed the admonition" (3:18-21).

By in dying to die, is here signified to perish in eternal death, which is damnation, for it is said of the wicked; and by in living to live, is denoted to enjoy life eternal, which is salvation, for it is said of those who perform the work of repentance, and of the righteous. In the same:

[3] "Thou hast profaned me with my people, to slay the souls that should not die, and to cause to live the souls that should not live, whilst ye lie to the people, to them that hear a lie" (13:19).

The subject here treated of is the falsification of truth, which is meant by its being said, "Thou hast profaned me with my people," and by "your lying to the people, to them that hear a lie." Here a lie signifies falsity, and what is falsified. To slay the souls that should not die, is to deprive them of life derived from truths; and to cause to live the souls that should not live is to persuade them that life eternal is from falsities. That this is here meant by causing to live is evident from the preceding verse.

[4] In David:

"Behold the eye of Jehovah is upon them that fear him, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine" (Psalms 33:18, 19).

Again:

"Thou has delivered my soul from death, and my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living" (Psalms 56:13).

In Jeremiah:

"Behold I set before you the way of life and the way of death" (21:8).

In John:

"Jesus said Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that heareth my word hath eternal life, and shall not come into condemnation; but shall pass from death unto life" (5:24).

That in these passages death denotes damnation, and life salvation, is clear.

[5] Because death is damnation, it is also hell; therefore hell in the Word is commonly called death; as in Isaiah:

"Hell will not confess thee, nor will death praise thee; they that go down into the pit will not hope upon thy truth. The living, the living, he shall confess to thee" (38:18, 19).

Again:

"We have made a covenant with death, and with hell we have made a vision" (28:15).

In Hosea:

"I will redeem them from the hand of hell; I will liberate them from death. O death, I will be thy plague! O hell, I will be thy destruction!" (13:14).

In David:

"In death there is no remembrance of thee; in hell who shall confess thee?" (Psalms 6:5).

Again:

"The cords of death encompassed me, and the cords of hell" (18:4, 5).

Again:

"Like sheep they shall be laid in hell; death shall feed on them" (49:14).

Again:

"Jehovah, thou hast brought up my soul from hell; thou hast kept me alive" (30:3).

And in the Apocalypse:

"A pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Death, and hell followed him" (6:8).

And in another place:

"Death and hell were cast into the lake of fire" (20:14).

[6] Because death signifies damnation and hell, the meaning of the following passages in Isaiah is evident:

"He will swallow up death to eternity; and the Lord Jehovih will wipe away tears from off all faces" (25:8).

Again:

"That he might give the wicked in their sepulchre, and the rich in their deaths" (53:9).

In David:

"Jehovah, thou liftest me up from the gates of death" (Psalms 9:13).

Again:

"Thou shalt not be afraid of the arrow that flieth by day, and of the death which wasteth at noon-day" (91:5, 6).

In John:

"If a man keep my word, he shall not see death to eternity" (8:51).

And in the Apocalypse:

"He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death" (2:11).

In another place:

"Many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter" (8:11).

Again:

"The second angel poured out his vial into the sea and it became as the blood of a dead man; whence every living soul died in the sea" (16:3).

From these passages it is evident that the dead signify those who are destitute of the life of heaven, consequently those who are in evils and thence in falsities.

[7] These are meant in the following passages; as in David:

"They joined themselves also unto Baal-peor, and ate the sacrifices of the dead" (Psalms 106:28).

Again:

"He hath made me to sit in darkness, as the dead of the world" (Psalms 143:3).

In Matthew:

One of the disciples said, "Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Jesus said, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead" (8:21, 22).

On account of this signification of the dead, the sons of Aaron were not allowed to touch any dead body (Leviticus 21:2, 3, 11); nor the priests, the Levites (Ezekiel 44:25); nor the Nazarite (Numbers 6:6, 7); and if any one of the sons of Israel touched the dead, he was to be cleansed by the water of separation (Numbers 19:11 to the end).

[8] Because death signifies damnation and hell, hence, on the other hand, life signifies salvation and heaven; as in the following passages. In Matthew:

"Strait is [the gate], and narrow is the way which leadeth unto life" (7:14).

Again:

"It is good for thee to enter into life one-eyed, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the gehenna of fire" (18:9).

Again:

"If thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments" (19:17).

In John:

"They that have done good shall go forth unto the resurrection of life" (5:29).

Hence it is that salvation is called "life eternal," as in Matthew 19:16, 29; 25:46; Mark 10:30, 31; Luke 10:25; 18:18, 30; John 3:14-16, 36; 17:2, 3; and other places. For the same reason heaven is called the land of the living; as in David:

"O Jehovah, thou art my confidence, my portion in the land of the living" (Psalms 142:5).

Again:

That thou mayest see "the good of Jehovah in the land of the living" (Psalms 27:13).

Again:

"O bless our God, ye peoples, who placeth our soul among the living" (Psalms 66:8, 9).

[9] That the Lord alone has life in Himself, and that every man has life from Him, the Lord teaches in the following passages. In John:

"As the Father raiseth up the dead and quickeneth them, even so the Son quickeneth whom he will. As the Father hath life in himself, so hath he given to the Son to have life in himself " (5:21, 26).

Again:

"Jesus said, I am the resurrection and the life; he that believeth in me, though he die, he shall live" (11:25, 26).

Again:

"I am the way, the truth, and the life" (14:6).

Again:

"I am the bread of life, which cometh down from heaven and giveth life unto the world" (6:33, 35, 47, 48).

Hence it is that the Lord is called

Alive, and he that liveth (Apoc. 4:9, 10; 5:14; 7:2; 10:6);

as also is Jehovah in very many passages in the prophets.

[10] And because the Lord is life, therefore all have life from Him; this He also teaches in John:

"He that believeth on the Son hath eternal life; but he that believeth not the Son shall not see life" (John 3:36).

Again:

Jesus said, "I am come" that the sheep "may have life. I give unto them eternal life" (John 10:10, 28).

Again:

"He that believeth in me, though he die, he shall live" (John 11:25, 26).

Again:

"Ye will not come unto me that ye may have life" (5:40).

[11] The reason why life signifies the Lord, and hence salvation and heaven is, that the all of life is from one only Fountain, and the only Fountain of life is the Lord; angels and men are only forms recipient of life from Him. The life itself which proceeds from the Lord and which fills heaven and the world, is the life of His love, which appears in heaven as light; and because it is life, it enlightens the minds of angels and gives them understanding and wisdom. Hence it is that the Lord calls Himself not only the life, but also the light; as in John:

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and God was the Word. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. That was the true light which lighteth every man that cometh into the world" (1:1, 4-12).

Again:

"Jesus said, I am the light of the world; he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life" (8:12).

And in David:

O Jehovah "with thee is the fountain of life; in thy light shall we see light" (Psalms 36:9).

The light which is life from the Lord in heaven is there called Divine truth, because it affords light to the minds of those who are there, and hence shines before their eyes. This is why light in the Word signifies Divine truth, and intelligence and wisdom therefrom, and that the Lord Himself is called light; this, however, will be more fully evident from what is said and shown in the work, Heaven and Hell 126-140, and 275).

[12] The reason why the all of life is from the Lord is this: He is the Sun of the angelic heaven, and the light of that Sun is Divine truth, and the heat of it is Divine good; each is life; this is the origin of all life in heaven and in the world. The Spiritual which flows into nature, and imparts life to it, is from no other source; but then it imparts life according to reception (concerning this circumstance, see the work, Heaven and Hell 116-125). From these considerations it is now clear why the Lord calls Himself the Life, and why those are said to have life, and to live, who receive light, which is Divine truth, from the Lord, and why those are said not to live, but to be dead, who do not receive it. That there is one only Fountain of life, and that the Lord is that Fountain, may be seen in the work, Heaven and Hell 9); and in The Doctrine of the New Jerusalem 278).