6110. VARIOUS PARTICULARS RELATING TO MARRIAGE AND ADULTERY.
(In what manner a female is born an innocence and in what way a male. How the female becomes the affection of good, and the male the understanding of truth. In what way the female becomes the affection of truth, which occurs when she desires to marry; also in what way the male becomes the understanding of truth, which also then happens, when he wishes to love the female sex.
1. How this next increases, with each, till marriage takes place; and how the understanding of truth then controls the affection of truth, and they are united.)
2. (What the feminine is, and what the masculine, interiorly. The feminine, interiorly, is to love the husband tenderly - but they desire the husband to be ignorant of this; thus, he governs, and those who are not in the ability of doing so, become impotent. The wives of the angels said that I must not disclose this; but I said I would reveal it. This was because they suppose that this was their weakness; but it is the very good of truth and truth of good.)
3. (How two married partners become one form of love through conjugial love.) (From the uniting of minds results the form of the bodies. - The forms of men, according to affections and understanding thence, or the things of love and the things of wisdom thence.) (This is the image and likeness of God, Genesis [1:26].) (Potency goes on increasing until it becomes perpetual.)
4. (Many reasons why a man wishes the woman to refuse. With some it is the lust of violating; with some it is the result of adultery; with some it is the excitation of potency thereby. It is from various causes, and especially from mental ones. They at length become like cats, which tear each other, stand still, gaze at one another, howl miserably, and wish to do it by stealth. The women are furious that this is disclosed. They declare, as if from interior will, that they do not desire it. The reason is, because potency vanishes if they do otherwise.)
5. (The mere conclusion in the mind, that adultery is not sin, renders a man an adulterer; - [shown] from those things which have been said on this subject in The Doctrine of Life. 1
Every conclusion in the mind constitutes endeavor in the body, which is the essential act.)
(I inquired, respecting cats, why they possess such a nature as they do. It was stated, that, with the female cat, the pleasure of fighting is first excited, and that this is observed by the male cat, and, when this passes off, copulation takes place.)
6. (I told adulterers, that, in heaven, there is perpetual potency; and they said, if they had known this in the world, they would never have committed whoredom, so that they might come into heaven. But I said, that, in heaven, it is permitted to love only the married partner, in hell to commit whoredom at pleasure; [and I asked] whether, in this case, they would wish to be in hell, or in heaven; but I was unable to extort a reply from them.)
7. (If a man concentrates his love upon his wife, by shunning adultery as sin, then love with its potency increases daily; but if men take from that love and consume it with harlots, conjugial love becomes like chaff, and dies.)
8. ([I mentioned] about a woman, that she said, that it is impossible to love one's wife, because it becomes usual. But the angels said that she is mistaken; and that what is usual, when love is truly conjugial, is the plane in which enjoyments form themselves, from within, as upon a rose bed; and that every separate rose becomes a plane in which interior enjoyments are formed and variegated, and this to eternity.)
9. (Fury as it were inflames infernals, when they become sensible of the sphere of conjugial love, - from much experience.
10. (Married partners together, or conjugial love, is the very image and likeness of God,) (adultery destroys it.)
11. (Hell is infuriated when those there perceive the sphere of conjugial love, - from experience, as it were, out of heaven.)
12. (When adultery is thought permissible, it exists in endeavor in the whole body.)
13. (Every man is some affection in a form; if a charity, he is in an angelic form: the kind of affections he then has are lambs and doves.)
14. (Marriage is like the marriage of the will and understanding, or of affection and thought, in all and every single thing, because it is [the union] of good and truth. The conjunction, or marriage, of these, may be illustrated by the marriage of sound and speech, in which it may be clearly seen. As speech is the form of sound, so man may be described as the form of the wife; they are one flesh; a man shall cleave to his wife; the wife is the man's soul, and life, or is the heart of the man; but neither knows anything else than that the other is his, or hers, and that each is the other's reciprocally and mutually.)
15. (The nerves are softer in women; the veins somewhat wider, and the arteries stronger [than] in men: the hips broader, because the hips signify conjugial love, see Arcana Coelestia.)
16. (Unless eternity, or eternal conjunction, be thought of, a woman is not a wife, but a concubine; and from the lack of the idea of eternity, conjugial love perishes.)
17. (The bond must be on this side and on that, or forward and back; if not, there is no conjugial love. The bond, on this side and that, is, that the wife's affection be in the man's understanding, and the man's understanding be in the wife. And, nevertheless, it does not become eternal. If angelic spirits speak of these two things in the world of spirits, the hells are agitated, and those who are leagued with the hells are as if infuriated.)
18. (In heaven, the wife is spiritual heat, and the husband spiritual light.)
19. (A beautiful celestial and spiritual woman is beauty itself, or the form of beauty and of good. From the Lord, as regards every created work in the universe, it is manifest that there does not exist anything more beautiful than a virgin.)
20. (How the husband's life enters the wife, through the thighs, and by means of love. How truth then becomes good, or understanding, the will of the wife, and how, finally, the husband's understanding becomes the form of the wife's affection. Thus, how it is to be understood that the wife was formed from Adam's rib, and that Adam said, Bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh; also, that they shall become one flesh, and that a man shall cleave to his wife.)
21. (The delight of rape: the hell of those in that delight is cadaverous: why -. The delight of deflowering: the quality of whoredom. What kind of delight the delight of variety is: those in it become like male mice. What, and of what sort, is the pleasure of committing adultery with the wife of another. Of what nature the pleasure of fornication with a man who has a wife, is. The pleasure of having a concubine before marriage: of what nature it is: that it is permitted: how, and to whom.)
22. (Conjugial love is innocence itself - from the case of Adam. - It is chastity itself, and purity itself, - from its origin, and from correspondence, from its playfulness like that of children. A representation [thereof] in grubs, when they become butterflies.)
23. (Laws of divorce:
(1) whoredom;
(2) desertion;
(3) diseases, etc. Why it is not allowable to take a divorced woman, or one irregularly cast off.)
24. (From chaste conjugial love, a wife and a virgin have beauty, and a man wisdom.)
25. (There is no lasciviousness in conjugial love, for lasciviousness is unchaste. There is the identical sensation with those who are in conjugial love; consequently, there is nothing unclean, but pure. It appears as if there were, but yet there is not. The reason is, because inwardly in conjugial love, even to the ultimates, is heaven, and inwardly in the love of adultery is hell; and the ultimates of each appear similar, as to their delights, but yet they are not. The difference is not perceived except by conjugial love.
26. It was said by the ancients, that like-seeming delights were signified by Cerberus, who stands at the entrance and keeps watch, lest the delight of heavenly love descend into hell.)
27. (Conjugial love looks continually to two being one, or one flesh. If conjugial love do not look to this, [the love] is the love of adultery. They [i.e. a man and wife] are able to become one, more and more, to eternity.
28. A male child is truth from good in the natural man. This truth is born from the good of the spiritual man in the natural man; but it is from the marriage of good and truth in the spiritual man. Hence daughters and sons are goods and truths in the natural man - see Apocalypse Revealed, n. 543;see, also, respecting Primogeniture.)
29. (Of what kind the love of inmost friendship is among them. The inmost of friendship is continual, and constitutes the heavenly delight of companionship. The distinction of that love from the love of conjunction. Of what nature the difference is. This difference is not known to adulterers: they instantly believe that the wife desires conjunction, when she says that she loves her husband.)
30. (It was related out of heaven, that the Most Ancients, who were celestial, called conjugial love the chief of all loves, and the very delight of life, and [said] that love towards children is the nearest derivation from it.)
31. (Of what character love towards children, which is storge, is with the evil: they see themselves in them, since the soul of the father is in them. This love conjoins married partners; but in what way, and with what difference,)
32. (A female becomes a female after death, and a male becomes a male; and mutual and reciprocal love remains. For which reason, it cannot be otherwise than that this [love] remains.)
33. There is sometimes an investigation by angels, previous to a betrothing, as to whether there exists the reciprocal of love. If not, they recognize the fact of themselves; and this is from the Lord. Festivities occur when marriages take place, but with a difference according to societies.)
34. (What supremacy effects in marriage, either by the man or the woman. What the submission is that arises from hyper-conscientiousness. What that which arises from excessive simplicity, in him, or in her: what the persuasion, or belief, that whoredom is not sin [effects]).
35. (The infernal marriage, with those who are in the love of ruling and are atheists. On the part of the man there is deadly hatred. But, still, he is manifestly the servant and slave of the wife, so that he dares not murmur against her will: but [this], when she, by various means, has obtained the ascendancy. The reason is, because the man's understanding is subjugated.)
36. (These have no interior virtue and honor: consequently, [such a one] is not a man. The adulterer is unjust, unfaithful, insincere, an iniquitous violator of a covenant, lying, shameless. He has no interior justice or interior fidelity, no interior sincerity, interior truth, interior shame; thus, no honor nor interior virtue. What such a one is interiorly, and what such a one is exteriorly, such, then, is the man.)
37. (Truth is from good, through which is the Church; and good is from the Lord. And since the Lord inflows through good into truth, therefore angels, and men in the churches, receive the Lord's good in truths: hence is the marriage of good and truth in angel and man.)
38. (If a man decides that adultery is not a sin, he is an adulterer; for, the conclusion is from the will and the understanding together: there is also intention in it. Hence is interior will, which is effort; which effort reigns in the whole man. The nature of effort.)
39. (The conjunction of good and truth takes place because the Lord looks on man in the forehead, and man at the Lord through the eyes. The forehead is the love of the will, or good; and the eyes are the understanding, consequently truth. It is on this account that it is said that man is a recipient of love in wisdom, or of good in truth. All the angels turn the face to the Lord. The reigning love turns all to itself, and they follow it.)
40. (Man's spirit co-operates in the sexual embrace, because the spiritual in its first origin is sown forth. Nevertheless, man's spirit inflows into the natural. In man's spirit, the inmost is the conjunction of good and truth, or of delight, which imitates good, and of propriety, which imitates truth. Therefore, when angels and spirits embrace, it takes place in a similar manner. They conceive and bring forth nothing but those things which are of love and wisdom; for no prolification occurs, apart from the natural.
41. (All concupiscences of evil spring from adultery; for that is their very form. The adulterer is confirmed by its being permitted; which, also, brings it about that he is not able to acknowledge God in heart, nor to be conjoined with the Lord, consequently neither with heaven, because his delight is entirely opposed to spiritual delight. At length he becomes in the highest degree sensual, corporeal and material, and thinks and speaks from the things visible to the eye and the things received by the ear, which alone he stores in the memory.)
42. (Affection is the all of thought, just as sound is the all of speech: from this it may be known that man is such as his affection. By that single rule, it may be known what thought is in its essence and life, and what chaste thought is, and unchaste, and whence.
43. What in sound is of concupiscence, and what from sound. Man in the world knows but little what is in sounds; but angels know perfectly.)
44. (Love of the married partner does not result from the sexual embrace, as with adulterers, but the sexual embrace from the love of the partner; so that the love of the partner does not depend on the fire of that organ, but the reverse. The love of the partner is full of delights, irrespective of sexual intercourse, and is a delightful dwelling together. Between that love apart from the sexual embrace, and the sexual embrace itself, there is a determination, just as there is between that which a man thinks from the will, which is intention, and act, or speech. Between these, intervenes determination, which is as it were the opening of the mind to doing a thing, like the opening of a door.)
45. (Why it is not allowed to contract matrimony between certain relations of consanguinity. What is the punishment, - from Leviticus.)
46. (In the next place, the reasons why fornication dissolves marriages. Why it is not lawful to marry a divorced woman. How the case is with marriage between persons of different religion.)
47. (The Papists prefer celibacy and virginity to matrimony; but it is on account of monks and nuns in monasteries. It is pernicious.)
48. (Many descriptions are to be given of the state of conjugial love prior to the state in which the effect is. The prior state ought altogether to precede marriage, and love from that, without thought of the state following. Then, marriage is happy and lasting; but, so far as it partakes of the posterior state alone, so far is it lacking. I heard certain ones saying that they do not know anything of the state following; nor did they think about it when they desired a wife, and saw her. Such is the state of maidens. Such is the chaste state.)
49. ([Show] from experience that the delights of the earlier state are indefinite. They approach closely and more closely to the state following, but yet do not enter it. It appears as if they open it, but yet it is not so. Between the earlier and the later state, there intervenes something which is to be called determination, almost like what occurs between thinking and willing. The later state contains in itself the whole of the earlier, and all its delights; also, the delights of that are likewise indefinite. The prior state is the state of conjugial friendship, which surpasses all friendship.)
50. (With whom the earlier state exists separate from the later; and with whom both. With whom it does not exist.)
51. (What joint potency those enjoy, who, together and separately, are in the earlier [state]; and what those who are in the later state only.)
52. (Virgins who have imbibed piety to the extent of a certain melancholy, become peevish wives, nor can they be among the happy in heaven - from experience; consequently, those who have lived in monasteries.
53. Of what character is the body of a married man, and of what character the body of a married woman, as compared with their bodies in the earlier state, or previous to the desire for marriage; as compared with adulterers and adulteresses; as compared with the bodies of young men, of adults, and of old men. Of what quality the same are as regards mind, or as regards spirit.
54. [They enjoy] delights and pleasures by the mere touch of hands and of lips, when they think from love, such things from the Word, from objects, from various concordant delights, as are applicable. They have exquisite sensations of their separate, and of their common [states]. These arise from the delights of affection and thought, and of the conjunction thereof; and the sensation is the more exquisite as the conjunction is more interior. That there is such delight from the conjunction of female and male, is because there is such [from that] of good and truth. There are still more delights of conjunction of the external senses, as of sight, of hearing, of smell; particularly of the respiration, in which innumerable things lie concealed: they lie concealed especially in the sound itself of the speech.)
55. (Various fears on the wife's account: as, for example,
(1) lest she prove barren;
(2) lest, from disdain, [she prove] of unsound mind, or silly,
(3) a cause of disquiet,
(4) by reason of quarrels,
(5) from various causes in one's self; also from various causes in the wife - as, that she must have an allowance, as in Holland; that she must be well treated at home; that she must eat and drink well, for example, when she is sick; and this appears like loving the wife; but it is not the fear of the wife, but it is fear on account of the wife.
But the fear of conjugial love is lest the wife be injured by any evil, or disgrace. In a word, he fears to do her harm because he loves her. This fear is the fear of the wife, and not fear on account of the wife.
56. Various despisings on the wife's account. Various enmities and hatreds on account of the wife, from various reasons ----. Various antipathies on the wife's account.
57. (Appendix. - It may be confirmed that Light is darkness, and darkness light, from the fact that if man had eyes like an owl [it would be so to him]. It may be confirmed that the confirmation of falsity corresponds to that light.)
58. (The confirmation that adultery is allowable, may be compared to the confirmation that light is darkness and darkness light.)
59. (Marriage, in a Divine sense, is the marriage of Love and Wisdom in God, which were one, because the Love is of Wisdom, and the Wisdom of Love. Hence is [the marriage-love] of the Lord and the Church which love is reciprocal, according to the Lord's words. From this is the marriage of good and truth: [show] how. The marriage is reciprocal, but it is of good; and this marriage is in image and in likeness, in the marriage of two who are conjoined by love truly conjugial.
60. A man is born to be truth, and a wife, to be good. He turns himself, - concerning which turning. Man's nature at birth; and woman's nature at birth. You may see what boys are, see, also, what girls are.)
61. (Love truly conjugial is, at the beginning, like as man being reformed, and afterwards regenerated. It inverts itself; and, when it has inverted itself, the man's love proceeds from the wife's love, and as is the latter such is the former. In like manner is circumstanced the conjunction of good and truth, in beginning, in progression, and in end; and this is, that a man shall cleave to his wife. Then the affection of good does the first things. In the earlier state, also, there is lasciviousness. The nature of the later state.)
62. (The reason why all desire to boast that they are powerful, and that they are esteemed, and also to be believed to be strong, etc.; - soldiers in particular.
63. How the seed is distributed through the body in all directions, is received by the soul [anima] which is in the whole body, thus in the fibers and vessels everywhere, and then delights, - gives pleasure to the wife, and fills with delight;) (and thus is she formed into the form of the man. This is, Bone and flesh of my bone and flesh. How it produces intelligence in him; and how it produces impregnation.)
64. (It is allowable to love a pregnant wife. The reasons are numerous; the arguments against it apply to the weakly: also during impotence and [in case of] adulteries.)
65. (Christian spirits cannot endure the spiritual sphere of the feminine and the masculine. They cannot endure the spiritual sphere of conjugial love; and the hells, at such times, are roused to fury. They cannot endure the sphere of nakedness between married partners; and, at such times, flee away. They cannot endure any sphere of love from a married partner. They loathe the sphere of customary [intercourse]; that is, when conjunction with the wife becomes ordinary, or freely permitted, it produces nausea.)
66. (Adultery with another's wife destroys all the delight of life between husband and wife, and induces dislike of the other, and also destroys care for the children - that is, a mother's and a father's care; at the same time, it leads to separation. It destroys the Conjugial. The adulterer does not see this, unless he thinks about his own wife, if any adulterer should defile her.)
67. (Evil spirits cannot at all bear the idea, and consequently the spiritual sphere, of the feminine [nature]. They cry out as if tortured, and flee away, - from experience; but they can endure it when it is veiled under the sphere, or idea, of adultery.)
68. (The purest touch causes the interiors, which are the seed, to be called forth. It goes to the inmosts in the body, and into the liquids; into the animal spirits, or into the spiritual [parts] themselves: hence prolification. There is also; at that time, a communication of the inmosts [with] the outermosts; thus, it is from firsts through lasts.)
69. (The excitation of adultery is external, from lust, from the touch of the bodies, especially of the parts of generation. It is external; just as one touches a friend with a feather, and tickles him. It is called external because there is no feeling in a feather. But with those who are in conjugial love, the delights of that love are communicated; which are the wife's when they are the husband's. The wife's [delight] flows into the feeling of the husband, so that the very sensations and delights are mutually and alternately communicated. Thus lascivious love is altogether different from conjugial love.)
70. (Conjugial love does not exist save with man: the reasons ----. The nature of the analogous love with beasts.)
71. (About the English - the lords - who entice the beautiful wives of others to themselves, by means of money, and live together with them for months, and afterwards send them back. These do similarly [in the other life]; and those who entice to themselves the wives of others are at once exposed, and are severely punished.
72. They are punished with the punishment of rending, which is among the severest of all. They said, that, after punishment, they do [not] know whether their limbs hold together; and they lie a long time in bed: also, if they do not desist, they are cast down into hell. They who desisted in the world, because it is a sin, desist in the other life; and those who desisted for other reasons, do not desist.)
73. (On the 29th day of April, 1765, I saw removed out of societies English lords, who, in the world, enticed the beautiful wives of others, and lived with them, until they were no longer pleasing to them. There was a multitude. They were separated from the societies, and let down to lower places, to be examined as to whether they had ever performed repentance afterwards, and had believed it to be contrary to the Divine Laws.)
74. (Respecting circumcision: it was a representative that sensual corporeal love, which is self-love, must be removed. Why it was done with stone knives - because truths remove [evils]. Why abolished. For what reason, when the sons of Israel entered the land of Canaan, by which is signified the spiritual Church, they were again circumcised.)
75. (The majority say, that, when the delight of marriage becomes customary, it becomes worthless, and as it were vanishes away. It is otherwise with those who are in conjugial love. With them, the habitual experience becomes the plane of interior delights, comparatively like a flower-bed, because it is the external. With those who are in lascivious love, the interiors, which are lascivious, depart with the potency, and hence arises cold, in consequence of which the general plane as it were dies.)
76. (With those with whom marriage is lascivious, also with adulterers, with whom the woman's love is not communicated to the man, the man's proprial affection then causes this. Man has a proprial affection which does not make one with the woman's affection; wherefore, both recede.
77. It is that affection which produces this but it is quickly consumed and burned up. It is otherwise when the woman's affection flows into the man's understanding, as happens with the angels of heaven: from this cause they have intelligence in their life.)
78. (Respecting whoredom in Paul,1 Corinthians 6:15-19, 7:4, read Ephesians 5:28-33, where marriage is compared with Christ and the Church. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4)
79. (Marriages are seed-plots of men, and thus seed-plots of heaven.)
80. (The marriage of evil and falsity originates from the marriage of good and truth through the influx of good and truth, and of heaven; and, then, by inversion, - respecting which, experiences are to be related. But [show] what this is, as it exists with adulterers. The evil man feels evil as good, and falsity as truth. Hence, also, such are among serpents, basilisks, mice, owls, screech-owls, tigers.)
81. (All things may be reduced to a marriage. Therefore, the not-good and truth may exist together, but not the truth of good and the falsity of evil: the falsity not of evil, can, by means of ideas, be turned to somewhat good.)
82. (If beauty only, and not good, conjoins, it is adultery; this, also, is not human, except so far as it is believed that the beauty is from good, which is the very esse of beauty. That goodness also appears in the face is known from merely natural science.) (The nature of horror in genuine conjugial love, and in not-genuine. The nature of fear, in those two.)
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