"But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." (Luke 2:19)

What does it feel like to ponder? Mary had given birth to the Light of the World. Did she have any idea what that entailed?

She wanted to. Mary was innocent enough to walk a path with no trail to follow.

Women have a penchant for words. They want to speak them, they long to hear them. But sometimes even words are unworthy containers for what must be known.

The paradox is that here I am, expecting words to convey to you an experience of pondering. It cannot be done. But if that same experience is shining wordlessly inside of you too, then the wires connect and we all light up.

Pondering happens when we lay down our assumptions. We are rendered vulnerable, because the terrain is new.

Once I was pondering about how to bridge the cavern between What I was Given and What I had Hoped For. I talked less, because words were not my stepping stones. Sometimes I just stared vacantly, chin in my palm. I suppose my family whispered about it. But pondering usurps energy, and shuts down my mouth just like digesting lunch shuts down my strength to swim, reprimanding me with a cramp in the side.

There are no Cliff Notes for pondering. You have to let it set awhile, like bread rising.

On the other side of pondering is a resting place. There are no celebrations, or ribbons to run through. You know you are there because the floorboards are beneath your feet again, not like when you sat on your grandmother's couch and your legs dangled in the air.

Mary found the new terrain to be marvelous, but that did not also provide protection from pain.

"And Joseph and His mother marveled at those things which were spoken of Him. Then Simeon blessed them, and said to Mary His mother, 'Behold, this Child is destined for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign which will be spoken against (yes, a sword will pierce through your own soul also), that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.'" (Luke 2:35)

In the aftermath of pondering, hearts are revealed. That aperture is an invitation to see brightly what had been in darkness. Life breaks us open too, and it hurts. But the agony of cracking open is short lived, not like the paralysis of staying shut.

Lori Odhner

Caring for Marriage

http://caringformarriage.org/

¹ And it came to passcame to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the worldworld should be taxed.

² (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

³ And all went to be taxed, every oneevery one into his ownown citycity.

⁴ And Joseph also went up from GalileeGalilee, out of the citycity of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the citycity of David, which is called BethlehemBethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

⁵ To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

⁶ And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

⁷ And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothesswaddling clothes, and laid him in a mangermanger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

⁸ And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch overover their flock by night.

⁹ And, lo, the angelangel of the Lord came upon them, and the gloryglory of the Lord shoneshone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

¹⁰ And the angelangel saidsaid unto them, Fear notFear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

¹¹ For unto you is born this day in the citycity of David a SaviourSaviour, which is ChristChrist the Lord.

¹² And this shall be a signsign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothesswaddling clothes, lying in a mangermanger.

¹³ And suddenly there was with the angelangel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

¹⁴ GloryGlory to God in the highesthighest, and on earth peacepeace, good will toward men.

¹⁵ And it came to passcame to pass, as the angelsangels were gone away from them into heavenheaven, the shepherds saidsaid one to another, Let usus now gogo even unto BethlehemBethlehem, and seesee this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made knownmade known unto usus.

¹⁶ And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a mangermanger.

¹⁷ And when they had seenseen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.

¹⁸ And all they that heardheard it wonderedwondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

¹⁹ But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

²⁰ And the shepherds returned, glorifyingglorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heardheard and seenseen, as it was told unto them.

²¹ And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the child, his name was called JESUS, which was so named of the angelangel before he was conceived in the womb.

²² And when the days of her purification according to the lawthe law of MosesMoses were accomplished, they brought him to Jerusalem, to present him to the Lord;

²³ (As it is writtenwritten in the lawthe law of the Lord, Every male that openethopeneth the womb shall be called holy to the Lord;)

²⁴ And to offer a sacrifice according to that which is saidsaid in the lawthe law of the Lord, A pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.

²⁵ And, behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon; and the same man was justjust and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel: and the Holy GhostGhost was uponupon him.

²⁶ And it was revealed unto him by the Holy GhostGhost, that he should not seesee death, before he had seenseen the Lord's ChristChrist.

²⁷ And he came by the SpiritSpirit into the templethe temple: and when the parentsparents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him after the custom of the lawthe law,

²⁸ Then took he him up in his arms, and blessed God, and saidsaid,

²⁹ Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peacepeace, according to thy word:

³⁰ For mine eyes have seenseen thy salvation,

³¹ Which thou hast preparedprepared before the face of all people;

³² A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the gloryglory of thy people Israel.

³³ And Joseph and his mother marvelledmarvelled at those things which were spokenspoken of him.

³⁴ And Simeon blessed them, and saidsaid unto Mary his mother, Behold, this child is set for the fall and risingrising again of many in Israel; and for a signsign which shall be spokenspoken against;

³⁵ (Yea, a sword shall piercepierce through thy ownown soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.

³⁶ And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity;

³⁷ And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the templethe temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.

³⁸ And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spakespake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem.

³⁹ And when they had performed all thingsall things according to the lawthe law of the Lord, they returned into GalileeGalilee, to their ownown citycity Nazareth.

⁴⁰ And the child grew, and waxed strong in spiritspirit, filledfilled with wisdomwisdom: and the gracegrace of God was uponupon him.

⁴¹ Now his parentsparents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passoverfeast of the passover.

⁴² And when he was twelvetwelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.

⁴³ And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.

⁴⁴ But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.

⁴⁵ And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.

⁴⁶ And it came to passcame to pass, that after threethree days they found him in the templethe temple, sittingsitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and askingasking them questionsquestions.

⁴⁷ And all that heardheard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.

⁴⁸ And when they sawsaw him, they were amazed: and his mother saidsaid unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with usus? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.

⁴⁹ And he saidsaid unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?

⁵⁰ And they understood not the saying which he spakespake unto them.

⁵¹ And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.

⁵² And Jesus increased in wisdomwisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.