369. Both man and woman are endowed with intellect and volition, but for men intellect tends to take the lead, while for women it is volition that does so; and people are characterized by what is in control. There is no controlling, though, in marriages in the heavens. The volition of the wife actually belongs to the husband and the intellect of the husband belongs to the wife. This is because each wants to intend and think like the other, mutually, that is, and reciprocally. This is how the two are united into one.
This is a truly effective union. The intent of the wife actually enters into the thinking of the husband, and the thinking of the husband enters into the intent of the wife, especially when they look each other in the face, since as already noted there is a sharing of thoughts and affections in the heavens. There is all the more sharing between a wife and a husband because they love each other.
We may gather from this what the union of minds is like that makes a marriage and that gives birth to marriage love in the heavens - it is that each wants his or her blessings to belong to the other, and that this is mutual.